What is the PROPER response

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
What is the PROPER response
3
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 8:27pm

Part vent, part question here. Now I'm having a hard day at work. I am missing AP. I am a S mother and really need some support. So the first words out of my mouth when I talk to AP are that I am stressed because of work and that I really wish I could just curl up somewhere with him for a few hours. I needed some support, someone to care for me.

After a few minutes of conversation, he tells me that he is going to be gone with her for an entire weekend and that, though he tried to get out of it, he couldn't. I sigh, say that sucks, and that I hate it when he travels with her. And this starts some sort of irritation his part and a proclamation that I am pouting and he gets tired of that, etc. etc. etc.

Now c'mon. I have been with this man for a year and a half. We are planning a life together after the affair is done. And he is IRRITATED that I don't like it when he travels with another woman. Does he actually expect me to say NOTHING? And could he possibly be such a clod that he didn't recognize that today, when I was completely battered by work, was a bad time to express such displeasure.

WS's out there: Am I WAY off base?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2008
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 11:10pm
I think you have
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Sat, 10-11-2008 - 12:47am

I'm sorry Open.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Sat, 10-11-2008 - 3:28am

I'm a little calmer now, but I still agree that I was absolutely entitled to feel the way I did. He is actually taking her vehicle to another town for maintenance, as there is not a dealer here. He offered to take it there alone, but she wants to visit her friends there. He asked if he could stay in town and work on the house, but she doesn't want to drive alone.

I don't doubt that he would rather be here with me, but we have agreed that he will stay with her at least until the spring, for legal reasons. In order to stay living with her, he has to keep the peace. We want to get through this without a D-Day, at least that is what we are shooting for. We live in a no-fault state, but no need for any additional drama.

It sucks, this waiting. We'll get through it. I just wish he wouldn't be such an insensitive clod.