What r the ReaL signs he will leave W?
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What r the ReaL signs he will leave W?
| Fri, 06-05-2009 - 1:37pm |
i have been with a MM since the beginning of Sept last year.
| Fri, 06-05-2009 - 1:37pm |
i have been with a MM since the beginning of Sept last year.
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I believe and trust my AP.He had all papers ready for D but we got caught and now the W wants to give a try to the failing M.I wont provide specifics here but i know my MM is not a cake-eater.
has your AP told you when he is going to file?Get a date from him.If he is wishy-washy,you can try to dig a bit and you will know.
but dont fall prego before that.
thank you for your reply.
I am sorry for the pain you must have gone through.(((( hugs ))))
I can only tell you how my OM knows I'm leaving my M. I told him I was, then I started working on the paperwork and showed it to him, so he could help me be sure I was being fair with kids and stuff. Honestly, he won't and can't know I'm for real until it's actually a done deal. Right now, h and i live in the same house (it sucks!) and om still encourages me to work on my m. I'm just so done in my m, that if my h would move out, this thing would be progressing. In the mean time, all my OM has to go on is that I say I'm doing this. He's in your shoes.
For you, I'd have to say this. If you are unhappy in your marriage, get out. Don't do it for ap. If you do, and it doesn't work, then you are left with the "what ifs." I'm not happy in my marriage, I haven't been for a long time. I told om up front that I'll never, ever leave my m for another man, or anyone else, other than myself. And that is what I'm doing. I'd rather be alone than in my marriage.
If you need to wait until your ap is for sure doing stuff, his d is gonna be messier and take longer than yours, then wait. Let him file and get a court date and do some things that are following through, like moving out. Definately don't get pregnant any time soon. That you'll surely regret. you can wait another year and be just fine. Take some time to be you and be in your relationship with ap first before getting pregnant. I know that's hard, but you won't regret waiting. That's my advice.
just out of curiosity, why the huge rush to have kids? is it an age thing?
i know you both think you want to spend the rest of your lives together (and i can really really relate), but i'm not sure you can properly assess that until you have a completely free and public relationship. (side note - i'm 37 and my AP is the only person i've ever thought i might want to have kids with. if we make it through this together, i hope we will, but i also want to be realistic and take it slowly. maybe it will make my chances of having children very slim, but it's something i'm willing to risk because the alternative (getting pregnant too fast and figuring out that we were in some sort of blissful "affair" bubble) is not something i'm willing to risk.)
my vote is to take your time. hopefully you'll be an exception to the rule and you'll end up happily together, but take some time to enjoy yourselves and your relationship before you add on the extra complications of kids.
my parents had built-in kids (my dad's first wife passed away) plus my mom got pregnant on their honeymoon. they NEVER lived alone together until all the kids were out of the house and when that happened they were at a complete loss for how to relate to each other.
gabby, i am sooo sorry for all you went through and are going through.
i am not 15 and nor is AP.
ok well, ouch!
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