What they do that pleases you...
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What they do that pleases you...
| Fri, 04-09-2004 - 7:14pm |
When we first became intimate, I was torn and hurt when he got ready to leave and showered. Well, I was okay with the shower, but as he was leaving, I leaned forward to kiss him and he held me away, only meeting my lips. He explained that he didn't want his wife to smell my scent on him.
I was crushed. Call me naive, but it had never crossed my mind, and it really drove home the fact that he is married. I tried to be brave, but he could see how badly it hurt.
Since that time, he has rinsed off, but never showered off my scent. He waits until he gets home and then he showers. Often, when he returns to work, he'll call me and tell me how good he feels, simply inhaling the remnants of my fragrance.
I know he's running a risk. So does he. But in *this* area, he shows me how much he cares. And Lord, I appreciate it. ::smiles::
What does your partner do that lets you know that you are special?
Cazrida
Edited 4/9/2004 8:14 pm ET ET by cazrida

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He also loves to go out to dinners/lunches with me when we find time to see each other. He tells me how much he enjoys going places with me and just stares at me across the table with such love in his eyes...(sigh). It makes it difficult to hide when we are around business associates;-)!
Just being around him makes me so happy.
or sometimes he will hold my hand next to his heart and say "you are right here"
he will say you want to hear those 3 magic words and I know what he is about
to say and I smile..."Im not far" is what he says ...
I love how romantic and original he is with his words -
He truely means what he says
Kikki
But I think the things she does that means the most is always tell me how much she appreciates and loves me. I tear up just about every day thinking about her and how much she is going through just to be with me. Have I mentioned I love her? :)
There's lots of ways MM pleases me, some knowingly and some he may not realize.
One that is most gratifying to me (other than in a sexual way, lol) is the way in which he supports who I am, and the decisions I make in who I want to be...even when he might not understand/agree.
When I told him about xH's abuse quite a while ago, I half-expected (and partly wanted) MM to feel compelled to charge in and challenge xH to a duel...and was a bit disappointed at the time that he didn't. Until I realised he lets me fight my own battles and cheers from the sidelines. Recently we talked about a couple we know, in which the H is physically abusive to the W - and he made the comment that he didn't understand how a W could have low self-esteem to allow such abuse. I'm pleased with how he views who I am, for he seems to have forgotten I was a W with low self-esteem that allowed abuse.
That's only one way, and as I said there are many ways he pleases me. Thanks for the post, Caz - I am mentally making a list now and will remind MM of some - because I know that will please him.
Meow
(((((HUGS))))
NC stinks!
I hope it ends soon. I know how that feels. I'd POOF on Juliet's behalf, but I'm afraid it might backfire. ;)
Our NC has been over the weekends and he is trying really hard to make sure that we don't go a day without talking. He called me this morning. He and his W had to take her car to the shop and he said, "she went one way and I went the other. I thought I'd take the opportunity to call." ::smiles::
::frowns:: Of course, that's risky, too. He had to get off the phone, PDQ. She's a very intelligent lady and she's watching everything he does. I don't want him to get divorced because he got caught. I'm actually a little puzzled that he would do something quite that risky, because I can't imagine he couldn't find a little time by himself later on. Plus, he never promises to call over the weekend. I know he's busy and she stays close by...
Sometimes I wonder if he doesn't almost hope that he gets caught so she'll make the decision for him. Actually, I'm pretty sure that sometimes that's _exactly_ what he thinks. Which tells me that he's not ready. ::shaking head::
LOL I've moved completely off-topic. I really just wanted to tell you that I hope MM calls you SOON! The pain of NC is indescribable, unless you've been there. You aren't alone. We all understand, so if you want to rant, moan, cry, or just babble, you know we're all here for you.
Have a great weekend!
Cazrida
ROFL!
Yes, if anything happens, he's quite capable of handling it. ::grins::
He actually was married once before for twelve years. He told me he's never been the one to leave. She had an affair and he walked in on them. I get the impression he was more angry than hurt by that point, though. He said that it infuriated him that they did something where the kids could have caught them.
He's been married twenty-five years...twenty-six, this month. In January, when they were so close to splitting up, (discussion of asset division, apartment hunting, etc.), she was the one leaving. Now, that's because he made it clear that we were going to be friends and he wasn't going to _not_ talk with me.
I guess I don't really understand the difference. If she finds out and leaves, as far as I'm concerned it's no less his responsibility. Although, I guess it gives her the option of remaining and putting up with having me in his life. (Another ain't gonna happen event. LOL)
She knows I'm around and she's too smart not to be watching. He's already told me that he feels like he's in prison at times. :( He looks at their marriage as a social contract and friendship, almost a business partnership. I hate that for him, but that's _their_ marriage, not mine.
Frankly, mine would be more open in a lot of ways...but I've never tried to keep a relationship alive by caging it, anyway.
Cazrida
1. As to the original purpose of this thread: MM always knows the perfect song for any given moment and he emails the lyrics to me. I'm always amazed at how perfectly the song applies to what we'd been discussing or what I'd been feeling. I love how he knows me better than I know myself. I keep telling him I better start being more mysterious or he's gonna get bored. LOL!!!
2. About MM wanting to get caught: My MM has been caught - TWICE now. (The second time my H got dragged into it as well.) Both times it was because he got careless with his behaviour and his W got suspicious. (Keep in mind that we don't live anywhere near each other and haven't seen each other in over 7 months.) I asked him if maybe he subconsciously (or consciously) wanted to get caught to force everything out in the open. He said he didn't do it consciously, but maybe deep down that is what he wanted. They are in counseling now to try to figure out where things stand in their M. I think getting caught was the only way to get his W to agree to the counseling. While I don't like being the catalyst, I think resolving the issue of his M one way or the other will be a good thing. Now if only I could do the same with H and our M...
GB2
GB2,
Yes, resolving his issues through counseling should be a good thing. Regardless of the outcome, he'll be happier if he can come to some conclusions about what he wants and he can start working on building instead of wandering around in circles like the Israelites did.
Have you thought about counseling for yourself and your H? I haven't gone, but I've listened to Omaha and several others on this board. I agree with what I've read about dealing with the M and the EMA as separate issues, as least as far as possible. The problem with doing so is that we aren't separate individuals...and things get so blamed tangled up in our hearts and heads. :(
Bringing congruity back into our lives through determining what is important to us and then actively working at growing in those areas is, I believe, vital to our happiness and well being. I have to add that this board, and the support all of our members offer, has served as mini-counseling sessions by itself.
Good luck and keep us posted! (((((((HUGS))))))))
Cazrida
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