what type of single other woman are you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
what type of single other woman are you?
25
Tue, 12-22-2009 - 9:53pm

Ladies, i was reading an article today at the manicurist. the article was written by a man warning married men who were involved with single women and the benefits and drawbacks of this type of emr. the newspaper belonged to the manicurist so i couldn't ask her to give me the article. if i can get a copy of the article from the writer online, i will post it on here. anyway, after reading the article, a thought occured to me based on what the writer said.

part of what he said was that some women love to get involved with mm as they don't want the responsibility of a full time relationship. i then thought to myself that there seems to be three types of s.o.w. 1.those who are in it for the money and other benefits-house, car,trips all over the country or wherever/vacation 2.those who are continuously involved with one mm after the next, cause as i said above, they don't want the responsibility of a full time relationship. they cannot be bothered with cooking and washing and other domestic chores for the man and 3. those who want a full time and permanent relationship with the mm eventually, which means you (the s.o.w.) would want him to leave his wife. this one definitely involves love.

well i was a number 3. which of the three are you? will check for the answers tomorrow. good night everyone.

k2002
k2002

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 12-30-2009 - 10:32pm
yea man. you have the right name. lucky.
k2002
k2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 12-30-2009 - 10:46pm

ok, now, so what about Single Other Men? would you put them in the same categories? any SINGLE OTHER MEN on here? answer this. also MARRIED WOMEN WITH SINGLE OTHER MEN can answer too as you would probably know the type of om you have. these are the categories below: they are similar to the s.o.w.

1.those who are in it for the money and other benefits-house, car,trips all over the country or wherever/vacation 2.those who are continuously involved with one mw after the next, cause they don't want the responsibility of a full time relationship. they cannot be bothered with responsibilities that a full time relationship with a woman entails. 3. those who want a full time and permanent relationship with the mw eventually, which means you (the s.o.m.) would want her to leave her husband. let me hear from you.

k2002
k2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 01-02-2010 - 11:48pm

I have a good friend who is a single other woman. i was trying to decide which category to put her in. this is her third consecutive extra marital relationship. the first affair/emr was with a man who was living with his girlfriend. i was talking to her the other evening and was planning to ask her if she didn't want a full time relationship, which is why she continuously gets involved with married men/attached men, or it is just that the men she meets and likes just happen to be married/or attached.(that can be a reason too, i will soon start a post on that.)

well i didn't ask her but we were online on another website on Chat and we discussed many things as friends including her emr and my experience in my former emr. from that conversation, plus what i know previously, i placed her in category 2 and category 3, based on what she told me that night. in fact she is partially category 2, as she gets involved in one emr after another. however, i was not sure, prior to talking to her the other night, whether she was the type of woman who did not want a full time permanent relationship for herself. she certainly struck me as the type of person who would want a full time relationship in the long run and not just a part time relationship. i was right. she told me that she is interested in marriage and the mm knows that.

This mm she is with, really loves her. he and his wife does not love each other any more but like so many mm who truly love their ow, cannot leave because of finances. he and his wife are just good friends now, he says. she certainly wishes she could have him for herself, but accepts the fact that this will not happen. so she is partially category 2 and is also a category 3.

i find from the responses on here, some persons started out as category 2 and ended up in category 3. you see what i mean. so i suppose a s.o.w./s.o.m. might think that since the affair person is married, the relationship has no future and are quite content to settle for category 2, even category 1 and then "cupid" takes over, and before you know it, the s.o.w./s.o.m becomes category 3.

i know another o.w. who is a former co-worker who is definitely a category 1 and category 2. she only wants money, car and the benefits. a mm bought her a house and another one bought her a car. i understand that after one of the mm bought her a house, she promptly sent him back to his wife. she also gets involved with one mm after another as she does not want a full time relationship. so i suppose different things work for different people.

k2002
k2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 11:28am

I'm #3.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 10:24pm

"I'm working on getting over the MM/AP as I know its hopeless." well i am glad you found someone single. if you hardly see the mm, but maintain contact with him only ocasionally, you will eventually get over him. At least you have found someone single. i am glad for you. and the good thing is that you love him. (single man, i mean). so place your entire focus now on the single man cause he is FREE. u must be relieved. i know you love mm but as you said above , "it's hopeless."

"mainly he fears being the bad guy and losing the respect of his family #i.e. adult kids#" my friend who i spoke about in my post above said something similar to you. her mm doesn't want to leave because of the adult kids and finances. i said to her that he shouldn't really use the children as an excuse cause they are adults. i think his children are either older than her or she and them are close in age. she is in her 20's and he, i believe is in his 50's. i told her that its not like the children are in their early teens or they are small. but putting my own parents in the situation who have been married a long time now, to tell you the truth, as their daughter, it goes without saying that i wouldn't want them to divorce. if they are not getting along and they have done everything possible to improve things then maybe, but i really wouldn't want them to divorce at all, believe me. so i suppose, i could understand how his children would feel, although they are adults.

every emr is different and every mm is different. some won't leave at all, some will leave and won't find excuses or reasons to stay in their marriage while some really would leave because they REALLY DO LOVE THEIR OW but can't leave because of finances, the children (even if they are adults) possible pressure from the church (if they have a senior position in the church), not wanting to be the bad guy among hosts of other reasons. so i suppose s.o.w. or m.o.w. for that matter would have to determine what type of affair partner they have and if they will leave their marriage to establish a permanent relationship between both persons.

as as former o.w. i am stronger in resisting m.men, cause right away i start thinking if the relationship has a future. i know from experience that if the mm left, i would have to wait a long time before that happens and i don't want that. it is not easy though. i have a friend who is married and we were very attracted to each other. he is having problems in his marriage, bit since i picked up that he is not ready to leave his wife, i distanced myself from him. i think his reasons have to do with the church, as he has a senior position. because he was transferred from the church we attend and i am not attending that church anymore, we have not seen each other in a year either. he is in limbo and can't seem to decide what to do. SO I BACKED OFF. i am not waiting for no more mm to leave their wife. takes too long and i can't be the ow for all that time.

k2002
k2002

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