What would happen??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
What would happen??
4
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 4:29pm
So my MM went on lunch today and I haven't heard from him since he got back. It makes me wonder about if he is alright. What would happen if something ever happened to him? Say he got into a car accident or something and god forbid, he didn't make it. How would I find out? No one knows about me. That would be so hard to deal with.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 5:46pm
I have thought about that too. Today, in fact, we both e-mailed each other but there are problems with his work e-mail system and neither e-mail went through. When he called he thought I was ignoring him, and I thought he was ignoring me...and neither was the case. :)

There are times when we are separated and if anything happened to him I would never know. I would be able to find out eventually because I know where he works, but as OW we're not part of the family, and that's just something we have to live with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 6:22pm
Hi michelle,

This very thing terrifies me... as I know none of MM's friends and no one knows about me. He does know one of mine, but only her first name and not her surname so I doubt that he would be able to track her down.

I would imagine that if anything went wrong I could eventually call his work and make like I'm someone he knows through work and find out that way and I think he would call here pretending to be someone.

I try not to dwell on in and hope that the situation never arises.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Thu, 09-04-2003 - 8:20am
A bigger question is, what would happen to us emotionally? We wouldn't be able to grieve publicly but we would still be just as devastated as if it had happened to our own spouse. Even worse, because we wouldn't have friends and family gathering around us to support us. I work with my MM and everyone knows we're friends, so I know word would get to me pretty quickly. He's convinced he's going to die at a young age anyway. Don't know why...he says he's just always felt that way. And yesterday he says he's been having symptoms of heart problems. He's a bit of an attention-hog, and I think he wanted to see how I'd react. I told him to go see his doctor. Duh! I did have a moment where I thought about how devastated I'd be if something happened to him. It reminds me of that scene in the movie "Unfaithful" where the unfaithful wife finds out her lover has been killed, but she can't grieve because her husband is standing right there. You can see the anguish on her face, though, and you know how tough it is to hide it...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2003
Thu, 09-04-2003 - 12:00pm
I had that exact same thought on tuesday. My OM is on vacation this week and I didn't hear from him all last weekend. Due to the holiday, we were both at the lake with our families. So it was tuesday and it was 10 am and I still hadn't heard from him, which is not like him. But that thought hit me like a brick. How would I know. I do work with him so I would eventually find out. I started to say something to him about that, as one of his best friends knows about me, but I just let it go. But it has been on my mind too. I just haven't had the opportunity to bring it up. I also thought of the emotional part of it too. How could I hid it?? I hope I never have to find that out.

Angel