What would you do???????
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| Sat, 01-17-2004 - 4:26pm |
Been lurking and reading and have finally decided to post. I have been in a EMA for 4 years now, and have had a wonderful experience for the most part.
Now, my question is, what would you do if you knew for a fact that your MM lied to you/kept something from you. There has been 2 occassions that my MM has told me of his weekend plans and I have found out later, through other sources that he 'left out' dinner plans with his W. Now, I can't reveal my sources to him, but have slightly questioned him, and he will never confess to it. I have even gone so far as to tell him that I feel he is keeping things/lying to me, and he still denies it. For example, last weekend, he said that he and his W went to a movie with friends and never mentioned dinner with them. I find out this week that they went to a very nice restaurant. I commented about their 'dinner and a movie' and he said that they never went to dinner just the movies, why did I think that? Now, I do not know if they did go with friends or not, I just know they dined there. But, my question is, I thought he told me everything. I know financial problems, medical issues, everything having to do with his work, his child, etc. so why would on two occassions (the last incident was the same scenario) he keep dinner plans from me? It doesnt make sense. And I know, this is very strange, seeing as how he can lie to his wife and I expect him to be honest with me, etc...but I have always felt he has honest and open with me. Can anyone explain? Or has anyone been in the same situation? Or does anyone have a way I can get him to confess?
thanks,
gc

I don't want this to sound to harsh, but we are in the position of being the OW so therefore there is nothing for us to do about our MM going to dinner with his wife or sleeping with her etc., maybe he didn't tell you that because he knew you would not like it?
We knew when we entered into a R with a MM that there was no way we were going to be a high priority for them no matter what they tell us at the beginning. That is a fact that I learned rather quickly.
My advice to you would be to ask him why he lied about it and then just let it drop, if thats not possible then I would suggest that you rethink your A with him.
Once again sorry if that sounds harsh but thats how I see the whole r with a MM
Later
SB
Seeburg
I have to agree with SB, they eat at a nice resturant so what the lies ask him way most likely also no big deal.
FREE
You are not too harsh, and I do agree with you in regards to us never being first in their lives; however, that doesn't mean we have to like it. But, ,aybe you are right, and I have thought about this, that he didn't tell me thinking I would think too much of it, not like it, get upset, etc.
I wish I could come out and confront him with it. I would like nothing better than to call his bluff. However, he doesn't even know I know. And he can't find out I know, due to the reason of how I know. If that makes any sense. So, I am stuck, knowing he has withheld information (or lied), and can't do anything with that. And, I am sure, if I weren't in the position of being privy to such information, I would have never even known or thought about such...as most of us in A's would be.
I guess, my questions was, is there a way to pry or get him to come clean, without me admitting to knowing it. You know, catch him in the truth....and yes, maybe that sounds like playing a game. Anyway....you are right. I have to either accept or rethink....but, boy would I like to catch him at this one. Because, like I said this is the 2nd time with the same situation and I found out both times.....