What Would You Do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
What Would You Do?
3
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 9:52am
ok! I MOW, stopped seeing MM because of a situation that had happened at work and I was freaking out about being discovered. OK escaped that crisis unscathed, some time went by, and slowly but surely started seeing MM again. Spent a delightful evening with him last week, and of course he hasn't called me, emailed me, IM me, no communication between us. I do however see him on line all day.... and most of the night. He is on vacation currently. So Yes I decided to cyber spy on him, YES I Know it was juvenile..but I had a feeling. I created an alter ego for myself and logged in to the chat room he was in....and what do u know......he IM' me and starts to talk to me. Naturally I play along, he im me his cell, wants to meet me....yada yada yada... I push him off and tell him he needs to take things slow...

So this is my dilemma.....do I fess up and tell him that I know he is a jerk!, do I not say anything and just tell him, it's time we move on and keep my secret to myself, or do I ask him to meet me for drinks...in 2 weeks.... A large group of my DH friends and I are going out to a birthday dinner, so should I ask him to sit at the bar and wait for me his mystery date (who is never going to show) and then have him see me walk in with my H and our friends........ and he can then add 2 + 2! and No he would never make a scence or say something because #1 we work in the same company, and he is doesn't want his wife to ever find out. and I think he knows that if he were to do something like that.... I would then retialiate. I just want to make him feel like a fool....like he made me feel.

I am so angry, and hurt right now.... I feel like an idiot.... but of course what do I expect? right? GRRRRRR didn't sleep all night, so upset. So my cyber friends... tell me what you think I should do.

Avatar for prettyribbons4u
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 10:05am
I could see where you would be upset that this guy seems to be wanting it from "everyone" he can get it from. My question is this, do you want to see him again? If not...then if it were ME...(this is strictly what I THINK I would do) I would probably just leave him alone. I know that's probably easier said than done, BUT...I if I didn't want to see him again I wouldn't humiliate myself by saying that you did the fake ID thing to talk to him or set him up for a meeting with the fake ID at a bar...ya know what I mean? << Even though, I think that would be *funny as hell*. All I'm saying is,,,I wouldn't want him to know I took **that much time up with him, **that he was even that important to me. << This usually gets them worse than anything....he'll be wondering "what did I do wrong?"

It's a completely different story though, if you want to see him again. I guess the 'best' thing to do would be to confront him...if that is the case for you. I personally don't think that much about people talking 'online' but meeting is just a whole nother story, ya know? But evidently...that's what he was looking for, you just need to decide for yourself what you want from this for yourself first, then either confront him or let him go. That's just my two cents worth anyway.

Hugs to You!!

PR

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 10:13am
Thank you PR for your 2 cents! You definetely gave me some new perspective. No I don't want to see him again I should have never resumed seeing him again after the last incident. But I did, I guess he was my drug of choice, and I was selfish, wanted my cake and eat it too!

But hindsight is 20/20.

and No I don't want to humiliate myself, I didn't see it that way. I am just so angry and hurt. I feel stupid!

Thanks again PR!

Avatar for prettyribbons4u
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 10:23am
YOU shouldn't feel stupid at ALL!!! He's the a%%hole...and most of us have been there at some point or another in our lives...some more than others lol, so don't be angry with yourself!! If you are sure you don't want to see him again...then just ignore the heck out of him...believe me, he'll forever wonder what he did << maybe not at first, but he will....believe me >> and you could always say...it just didn't do anything for you..lol. I'm kinda crude at times, but it works for me. Let us know what you decide and good luck to you...and remember...he's the one that should feel stupid.

Hugs to You

PR