What is wrong with me?
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What is wrong with me?
| Wed, 05-26-2004 - 4:56am |
I am not sure if this is really in the right forum since I haven't actually had an affair physically, but emotionally I sure have and I really could use some advice. I have been talking to this guy that lives about an hour and a half from me online now for almost 6 years. I never met him but I have these real strong feelings for him. We talk almost daily for at least an hour. I dream about him constantly and never have dreams about anyone else, not even husband. My husband and I act more like friends sorta. We hold hands and kiss and do little affectionate things yet, but we rarely have sex lately due to him losing his drive and me rather having the guy online, and we have don't have children to bond us together. My husband usually is busy with some project or on a business trip, so we don't spend much time together. I really do love my husband, but almost feel like we are just really close friends that have a long history and love each other more for that reason than for passion. I have talked to my husband about how I really like this guy online and how I feel about the marriage lately. My husband says our marriage is normal and it is just that we are comfortable with each other and that this happens to every couple eventually and that if I left him it would just be the same thing eventually with someone else. I really do see his point I guess..... This guy does not even know that I am married. I am sure he wouldn't even talk to me online if he knew. This is why I never told him to begin with, not to mention he's never asked in the entire 6 years we have been chatting online! I just wish I could tell him how I feel sometimes(I sorta do in little ways) but I can't because of the situation I am in and all. We flirt a lot sorta. But it's just typing. It is not like we act like a couple at all. We just sorta talk about nothing most of the time. I am addicted to him. I really wish I could be with him. Why can't you be with two people? Life is so unfair? Anyway, I act like I like him and he acts like he likes me, but we still never say anything like I like you or anything like that. We talk about sex sometimes, but I still think it is innocent flirting. I compliment him a lot cuz I can't help myself. He is going to be in a town nearby me in July for the weekend. I was thinking of just asking him if I can go there to meet him, but still not mentioning the married part. He has not once asked to meet me either! My friend thinks if I do this, I might get over him and move on with my life since she swears most people don't like the person they liked online after meeting anyway because it is a huge fantasy and then when u see reality, it is completely different and not ideally what u expected. Then again, what if I fall for him even harder? Or maybe he knows already that I am married somehow since he never has asked us to meet before. I have no idea. He never mentioned it, but he knows my name and it is by my husband's in the phone book. Not to mention he must wonder how I have real good insurance and have plenty of money to buy things with being laid off and all. I just feel like my feelings are more towards a guy I never even met than for my own husband. But yet if this guy I talk to wasn't around, maybe the relationship with my husband could improve? I don't think divorce is the answer over someone I never even met. I might not even find him attractive. Sure pictures help, but only so much. I never even heard his voice before and who knows, maybe he wouldnt like me or find me attractive or would dissapprove of the situation I was in even if I did decide divorce was an option. My husband accepts me no matter how I am. He is always there if I need him. He is very handy and sweet. We are like best friends if anything else. I would hate to hurt him or lose him. I am still in love with him deep down but this is stressing me out. I feel very in love with the guy I never met online and this has been like this for years! I have been holding in these feelings for so long. I can't seem to get this other guy off of my mind. So many questions, I feel so silly. I don't know how this happened. What would you do in this situation? Or tell me what u think. Thank you!
Edited 5/26/2004 5:55 am ET ET by outofcontrol_wi
Edited 5/26/2004 5:55 am ET ET by outofcontrol_wi

My advice to you would be to think very carefully about where things stand in your life and what you want from it. If you care for your H then I strongly suggest you talk openly with him about your feelings regarding your M. You might want to consider counseling. You may also need to cut contact with your online friend for a while. NC stinks, but it does help clarify things.
Good luck to you.
GB2
I would insist on meeting him as soon as possible.
Fresh
Edited 5/27/2004 12:01 am ET ET by outofcontrol_wi
Edited 5/27/2004 12:02 am ET ET by outofcontrol_wi
BTW, what does NC mean? Please let me know and tell me what u think people! Thanks!
Edited 5/27/2004 12:09 am ET ET by outofcontrol_wi