What's Best?????
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What's Best?????
| Sat, 08-09-2003 - 2:30pm |
When do you make a final decision whether to stay in an A w/MM or to let it go? The pain of not having him in my life is as brutal as having him only sometimes. The only difference is that with him sometimes, I can feel up close & personal how much he loves me...& I can love him back.
It's days like this when I'm happy not to own a pistol.

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One night MM stopped into the bar with two of his friends. I was in there with my girlfriend. His friends were hitting on me. MM got mad and left without even telling me bye. I called him on cell and asked what's up? He said he felt like the 3rd will. Whatever!!! He came back and picked me up; wouldn't even let me drive my car home. Kind of cute how jealous he was!! I told him if he'd just tell his friends I was his woman (he's getting a divorce), his friends would leave me alone. He said they knew and they didn't care. Well, then they aren't very good friends in my opinion.
Over all, I know my MM cares about me. I just don't understand why he's scared or afraid to show it more. Especially since his divorce will be final this month.
I guess there's a reason things like this happen. I just wish a light bulb would shine on me and fill me in!!!
I'm sorry you can only feel how much he loves you when you are face-to-face (I take it that's what you meant). You should be able to trust that he loves you, even when you aren't together.
No one person should allow their happiness to depend on another's actions/words to the extent you are - it isn't healthy. If you are leading a full and happy life, then you would know whether or not your relationship with MM is meeting your needs/expectations, or not.
I am not critisizing you - just some "tough love". Yup, I've BTDT...was unhappy for not having more time and wanting more with MM, and considered ending the A. But, I wasn't happy in other areas in my life either, and it was an extension of that and nothing to do with MM or the relationship. Once I worked through the other areas in my life, I felt better in myself, felt better mentally. I considered that I felt balanced with MM in my life as an A partner - if I didn't feel balanced, because I felt better about myself, I would have ended it with MM. Because let's face it - what's most important is our own happiness and balance - if we don't have that within ourselves, then there ain't nothing that can fix it, whether it's family or friends or a lover, or hell even money!
Got balance?
If so, then you know whether or not your relationship with MM is adversely affecting your balance. If not - then find it! - pull up your socks, gurl, and accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative until you're happy and balanced.
Hope you find some peace and happiness,
Meow
Your MM's jealousy is cause for concern. He seems a little overly possessive considering the fact that it's HIS marriage that prevents the 2 of you from being together. Men are idiots.
I'm gonna go put on some socks so I can pull 'em up this morning. LOL. I really need a kick in the pants 'cause goodness knows I wanna phone & cuss him out this morning.
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