Whats with feeling addicted?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2010
Whats with feeling addicted?
4
Sat, 03-20-2010 - 4:36pm

I have been having an A for 6 months, IC for 5 of it. We also work together, but only see eachother 1-2 week at work. We usually meet 1-2 a month for IC, and once a week for "playing around". We txt daily and talk daily, but not on weekends. A Month ago I told him I had feelings for him, and maybe we should end A..that didn't last a week. He is also married, niether of us want to end our M we just enjoy eachother and feel we are getting what we are missing in our M's. 2 weeks ago he decided to end our A and work on his M....I was heartbroken, but knew it was the right thing to do. We had very little C to NC.. 2 days ago I was working with him and we had a good day all work and no play, and I felt good about our decision. Friday morn. he txts me and and called me... he misses our A and wants to know if I want to still see him. I told him yes. I can't explain it...it's like an addiction and I need a fix! LOL.. I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. He said part of reason he wanted to end A was he felt it was too much contact.. he was talking more to me than his family and was consumed with the thoughts of our A

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2010
Sat, 03-20-2010 - 8:46pm

lostsoul,


You are absolutely right about the feeling of addiction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 2:08pm
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Edited 3/30/2010 12:59 pm ET by suerank
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2010
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 2:34pm
I have read alot on the EAS board. It is comforting to know others feel the same way about the highs and crashes...But I never feel hurt by the crashes...It is amazing how the human brain works..we actually allow ourselves to get into these situations knowing full well it can end in hurt or worse..yet we do it. I know in the end I will end it, I just need to deal with the "addiction" of it before I can stop. Thanks for the advice and sharing your story.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2010
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 2:54pm
I have been married for 8 years...I know whats missing in my marriage, physical contact, there is sex but no hugs and kissing. I have asked H for this repeatedly but he has yet to try..he almost rejects physical contact outside of the bed, he has always been this way, but I find as I have gotten older, I need more affection. As far AP, he is not in a loveless marriage either, he deals with the same thing..rejection from his W when he initiates physical contact, she likes to have sex in a hurry to get it over with. AP is a very compassionate and emotional person, never bad mouths his W, so he is not trying the "pity me "approach at all. We both just enjoy the feel of PC, we don't always have sex sometimes it is just rewarding to kiss and touch...any of this making sense? My H and I arent in a routine, we just aren't on same page with our needs, I am patient and will wait for H to come around. AP and I have no illsuions of divorcing and being together, we both have 2 boys at home his are 11 and 13 mine are 5 and 7, that is alot of baggage then add in ex spouses, thats not a good combo in our opinion..LOL we are at least smart enough to realize that. Me and AP have had several conversations about ending this, its coming and we will end it friendly as we were friends a year before this turned into an actual A. Thanks for advice and sharing it does feel good to talk and listen to everyone here.