what's the value of telling all?
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what's the value of telling all?
| Sun, 05-24-2009 - 11:35pm |
This is my current issue. My Om told my h that we've had sex, I denied and was fairly convincing that om was lying. I've chatted with my counselor and she thinks I should just own up to it. I can see value in telling, but at the same time, know that telling h that bit would really hurt him, more than anything else. I've wavered back and forth, to tell him, to not tell him. If I tell him, the whole planet will know, he'll make sure of that. I'd rather everyone didn't know that I had a lapse of judgement less than a handful of times....

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I think you should tell your husband. HE has a right to know. ...1. so he can check his health and 2. decide if he really wants to continue this marriage. He has a right to happiness just like you.
If there are any health concerns then you need to tell him.
But if that is not a worry and you want to stay M then I'd say carry this burden of guilt and remorse to your grave. Let it fuel your efforts to improve your M. JMHO!
You might wish to post on the life after betrayal board, faith.
You are welcome to read, but not to post.
This board is a support community for members who
faith,
I've spent most of the past 2 days reading on the marriage builders website. It has TONS of info, and I think you'll find it beneficial as well. Lots of marriages can be healed after infidelity. I don't think mine can, but not because of the infidelity, rather for other reasons.
I will talk further with my counselor about how/what to tell him. She has asked me to do some homework regarding it, so I'm working on that now, partially with this thread, and we'll discuss it when we get together next. My h is coming to that session, so it will probably be revealed at that time and I can just wait for an explosive fall out.
I'm truly kicking myself for not getting out of my marriage a LONG time ago because now, it looks like I want out because of the A. the A did shine new light on old problems, but it most certainly didn't create those problems. I'm glad that I found Marriage Builders, too, because that is full of tools I'll use in future relationships.
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