what's the value of telling all?

Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
what's the value of telling all?
12
Sun, 05-24-2009 - 11:35pm
This is my current issue. My Om told my h that we've had sex, I denied and was fairly convincing that om was lying. I've chatted with my counselor and she thinks I should just own up to it. I can see value in telling, but at the same time, know that telling h that bit would really hurt him, more than anything else. I've wavered back and forth, to tell him, to not tell him. If I tell him, the whole planet will know, he'll make sure of that. I'd rather everyone didn't know that I had a lapse of judgement less than a handful of times....

Pages

Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 10:27pm

thank you silly and color!

I really want to deny deny deny. My Om couldn't stand the idea that he was lying to my h, he just couldn't take the guilt any more. I'm thinking hanging onto the guilt will be worth it. Now, I just have to work through all this. I'm still not 100% sure what to do. I don't plan to work on my marriage. I've done my part and h waited until I had one foot out the door before he decided to start paying attention. It's too late now, I just wish I did all this in a different order.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 12:11pm

On Colorunner's point regarding cost of revealing affair, I think it depends on the state D is filed in.

Pages