Whats wrong with me??????

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2008
Whats wrong with me??????
5
Sun, 07-19-2009 - 3:05pm
I have been involved in an A for over a year.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Sun, 07-19-2009 - 3:40pm

You’ve pretty much ended normal relations with your H if you’ve told him you wanted a D.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Sun, 07-19-2009 - 3:52pm

I wish I had advice, but I dont. I'm going through the same thing. Me and AP are in love and I want to be his only woman. My H and I are seperating in a few weeks and it's difficult but has to be done.


It bothers me when I know AP is with his wife. I wonder if they are having fun or making love and that really gets to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Sun, 07-19-2009 - 4:05pm

I just read Becomingmymom's post. I pretty much agree with her. You probably should go ahead and file. You and your H dont have to be enemies. You can still help him get through this situation with his mother w/o being married to him, if he's willing to be cordial with you.


I also thing Becoming is right about seeing how much AP is working on his marriage once you are available. He will probably be concerned about you meeting someone who's unattached and who might sweep you off your feet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2004
Mon, 07-20-2009 - 5:47pm

There is nothing wrong with you first of all. You are getting something from AP which you are not getting from your husband. If you truly do not love your husband anymore, you should go ahead and file for a divorce if there is no way to fix this marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2009
Tue, 07-21-2009 - 2:37pm

I don't think your AP is looking to leave his M and family for you. He has it good in both worlds and all those excuses he's giving you is just his way of letting you know it is what it is. Of course he'll throw you crumbs to keep you hanging on, he'll keep dangling that carrot in front of you face to keep you from asking questions. It's a perfect set-up....for HIM.

Now, on to you. The way I see it, you have a lot of crap to clean up in your home. Being unhappy there means you need to understand why and try to resolve the issues, otherwise, you're taking all that baggage into the next R you'll have in the future. Leaving an M and H for another man is not a good idea. Make sure if you leave it's for you even if there's no AP waiting in the wings. I believe it's good to have breaks between men in oder for us to really know ourselves better and to be able to make healthy decisions.

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