when is the breakin' point???!!!
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when is the breakin' point???!!!
| Fri, 04-02-2004 - 8:20am |
i have been seeing this om for about 11 months . in december i wrote him a goodbye letter telling him my feelings for him and i could not go on "sharing" him with his girlfriend. he has had a girlfriend for almost 3 years and he lives with HER 3 children. he read the letter and responded with a response that of course i was not expecting . he told me to give him a little time to get his sh*t together and he was going to leave her to start a real relationship with me .he said it will be hard for her kids to accept right away so he has to move slow so they don't get hurt. that was before xmas. now it is april 2 and he is still living with her !!! i have even tried to persuade him to leave her by going out with my ex on occasions trying to prove to him i am not going to wait forever. and for a while it worked , he was getting nervous and defensive and knocking on my door proclaiming his love for me , writing me letters and poems . well i don't know what has happened , maybe because i vowed to be faithful to him ( what a joke , me being faithful to him but him NOT being faithful to me since he is still with his girl) he must now think he's got me tight and i am not going anywhere. he's been kind of distant- i don't know if it is just me but i haven't really heard him say he loves me or how he can not wait to be with me. that used to be an everyday topic with him. now all of a sudden its no more! when we make love i tell him i love him and he doesn't respond. when i ask him about his "new" attitude he says that it's my insecurities that make me feel like he's changed , he says he does have all those feelings but he chooses not to show them . i am just hurt - i am sooooo in love with this man - i want him to be ALL MINE . don't get me wrong , he does come see me everyday and spends sufficient amout of time with me but it's not the same. he says he is considerate of my feelings that is why he tries his best to spend enough time with me so i am not hurt . i just don't know if he really loves me or this is all part of the game. how much longer should i wait ? or should i not wait at all?

Good luck and take care of you.
"he chooses not to share those feelings."
Do you really want to be with someone who chooses _not_ to share that he cares?
Good luck, either way.
Cazrida
Ok, only if you want to though. :-) I know it's hard when you're in love. Find a way to be happy!
good luck
Sujata
Hmm. Well, irony of ironies I'm about to suggest that someone drop a man similar to me...
I am in a VERY similar situation. I am a MM who has assured my OW I would be moving in with every intention of following through. I'm hoping she doesn't take my comments to you as advice for her...
If I weren't married with legalities involved, I'd be gone (I think... LOL.)
If I were single, unhappy, living with a GF w/ 3 kids that weren't mine... wow, I'd have been gone a while ago.
But... I agree with the other posters. If he isn't really communicating feelings, and didn't really talk about a more progressive relationship until you said goodbye, and only seems to react to threats and discomfort... I don't know that I'd be counting on anything from him. It's sounds suspiciously like you are more of an escape for him than anything else.
rain