When an ex reappears.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2007
When an ex reappears.....
6
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 7:24am

I'm so glad that I stumbled across this board. Here's my story......23 years ago when I was 18, I started dating a guy that I worked with (Patrick). We dated for a while and then broke up, but remained friends. That friendship included "benefits". I loved this guy and he was the one that I lost my virginity to. We remained "friends with benefits" for about a year. During that time, I began dating another man (Frank). When things got serious with the new guy, I ended things once and for all with Patrick.
I ended up marrying Frank. Fast forward 20 years now and I'm still married to Frank and we have 2 great kids who are teenagers. Although we have been married for 20 years, we have had our major ups and downs and almost separated several times. The only reason we didn't was because of the kids. Things have been difficult in our marriage for some time.
Over the years I have looked online for Patrick with no luck. I've always wondered what happened to him and whether he was happy with his life.
Last week, out of nowhere, I got an email message from him through one of those classmates sites. Since then we have emailed each other several times each day, and have begun calling each other also. He has been separated from his wife for 18 months and is also currently fighting for 50/50 custody of his son. When I received that email from him, I felt like time had stood still and my heart began skipping beats! All those feeling I had for him just came rushing back. It was unbelievable!!
I have been spending time at the hospital because my mother is very sick. When he called me tonight, he asked if he could come see me and I said yes. We did nothing more than sit in his car and talk, and hug hello and hug and kiss (on the lips but no tongue) goodbye but all of a sudden I don't know how to handle my world. Has anyone else experienced an ex coming back into your life? How did you handle it and what helped make your decision to move forward with the affair?
Any words of advice would be very helpful. I'm grasping at straws right now!
Thank you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2008
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 6:16pm

You need to take a step back and figure out what you want for the rest of your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2006
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 8:18pm

I have been having an A w/my ex for yrs. I can not tell you what to do but think long and hard b'k you do anything. When my Ex came back we did think when I saw him it was like no time ever passed. he was also my first and we did not end

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2008
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 6:28am
Please remove the names from your post.
pisces
pisces
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2007
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 6:31am


They're not real names. I would never do that and certainly wouldn't do it while I'm trying to figure out what to do.

Thanks!


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2008
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 5:08pm
I do not want to tell you not to do something. However, I got back in contact with my ex too. He just broke my heart for the second time. It truly is exciting in the beginning, no doubt about that, but right now, my heart is breaking. He was my first boyfriend, my boyfriend of two years. We still care for one another deeply. He is doing what he thinks is wise for both of us and letting me go. It hurts. I wasn't expecting it. Just be careful. I have to go through the pain and missing him all over again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2008
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 7:56pm
Know how you feel totally, been with partner for over 20 years, yet always had a yearning for my first love. Recently got back in touch with him, n the attraction was immediate for both of us, yet my H hasn't done anything wrong, I just don't feel the same way as I do about my ex Boy. It's a passion I wish wasn't happenning, but is. I feel dreadfull but I love two people, is that so wrong? yet socially it is but it's still tue.