When he feels guilty

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2007
When he feels guilty
11
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 9:40pm

My AP and I have been having an A for 4 months. In the beginning things were good, but the first time we got physical, his guilt started to get the better of him (I am M, he is Engaged). That was a couple of months ago. We still get together (our last date was Monday) and we usually end up getting P. His guilt is getting the best of him though, and I'm afraid it's going to mean the end of our R. We usually send each other messages on Myspace everyday, but he hasn't logged in to his account today and I'm worried! He's only gone a day without messaging me once in this whole time, and I miss him.


It's very hard for me when he feels guilty. He admits there is a spark between us, but he said he's trying not to let it become a fire (too late for me!). I know he wants me badly, and I want him even more, but his guilt is tearing us apart. I just feel like he's going to dump me (he says he won't, but I'm insecure). I can't be just friends with him, I care so much about him it would tear me apart to be with him and not be able to hold him or kiss him. I'm just so frustrated! Does anyone have any advice to help me through the trying times?

Tessa
Tessa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2008
Mon, 12-29-2008 - 10:09am
I went through this several months back with my XAP who I saw for seven months. He will never be able to provide you with what you're wanting out of the relationship because of his guilt. Mine emailed me daily and several times throughout the day...sometimes more than ten times. But I rarely saw him because he felt so guilty. He didn't feel guilty over just emails but the actual physical contact, he did. The guilt will eventually override his feelings/desires and he will end it. It would be best for you to end it before you become more attached and it will be that much harder on you. I know...so much easier giving than receiving advice.

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