When MM is "faithful" to the OW

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
When MM is "faithful" to the OW
3
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 12:23am
My MM insists on depriving his W of affection because of his feelings for me. Since we're not sexually involved, it seems a little strange to me. I also don't think his W should have to suffer. When I've brought this up, he tells me in a nice way that it's his decision and I really don't have any say in it. He says he doesn't kiss her on the mouth anymore, and they have sex 1-2 times a month. He admits that they used to be a lot closer physically before he and I started our relationship. I, on the other hand, do not feel any need to be less sexual with my H because of MM.

Does this happen a lot, where the MM or MW feel they should be less intimate with their spouse because of the feelings for the OW/OM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 12:30am

Hi sum1,


I'm sure you should get a few of the ladies out there respond to

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 9:15am
good morning special. ummm, i can't really tell whether my MM is "less" affectionate, sexual, whatever, with his W. even though we are all friends and W and i have contact weekly, we DO NOT discuss their marriage. and MM and i do not discuss my R with long-term BF or his M, except if anything impacts our R.

but i do know MM and his W were not very affectionate and definitely were not having sex, and the same for my R. both are long-term, his M and my R, so we started as fwbs and progressed from there. MM and i have become very emotionally attached and i feel him being more distant with his W, but i'm not sure that's because of me, or just natural progression.

i'll have to think about that.

take care,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 10:20am
Now this is just me, but I have always had a hard time buying into that. Maybe I’m too much of a realist, or just too damn pessimistic, but if a man were to tell me that he was not sleeping with his wife (or did not want to) because of me, I simply would not believe it. Men are men, and if they were getting it at home before the OW, chances are they will still get it (and want it) after the OW enters the picture as well. It’s his wife, after all.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t believe him -- everyone is different, every relationship is different, and everyone handles the sexual aspects in a different way. But for me, I don’t know…I would feel like I was being fed a line -- it just seems so unrealistic to me. But again, that’s just me!!:)