Where did butterflies go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Where did butterflies go?
7
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 6:03pm
I spent a couple of hours with AP today. I was looking forward to today and the time we spent together was nice. It was nice, but not as exciting as before. At least not to me. I remember how I would get these butterflies in my stomach the moment he touched my hand. I miss those butterflies. Where did they go? I wish they never left. I guess As just like any other Rs, loose some excitement after a while. Maybe we need some more romance in our R, but since it's an A, there is not much we can do. I wonder if he feels the change, but I don't want to ask him. I honestly don't know what he can do to make me feel the way I did just a couple of months ago. Does anyone else feel the way I do about her/his A? Does it mean we came to a new stage in our R? I do feel more peaceful and have less squirrels running around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 7:05pm


well if you want to keep getting the butterflies , you have to keep changing the man . just like how you replaced your H with AP .

Best of luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 9:07pm

Best - fair dinkum I dont know why you are on this site.


Find- yes the butterflies go with all R's. Its all about chemicals and endorphins. Over time these fade- its natural and to be expected with any R (lovers, friends, colleagues etc). But now the R will redfine itself. If you fall into a deeper more abiding feeling- then that can be fun too.


but yes like all drugs- endorphins can be addictive. Dont get hung up on them sweety, just enjoy the R and the fact that you are now moving onto stage 2 :)


You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 8:30am

Iggy's right. A new relationship, in the infatuation stage, causes the butterflies and excitement. No relationship keeps those butterflies. When you feel more secure in the R, that's usually when the butterflies go. It's a good thing in many ways.

And as much as people hate it - sometimes bestplayer is right (although he presents things in such a blunt, matter of fact, unkind way it turns people off). However, some people get addicted to the excitement and butterflies and they repeatedly DO seek new relationships. Think "Elizabeth Taylor" LOL (OK I read her biography) or anyone else that doesn't stay in a relationship more than a couple of years. The only reason she finally stuck with Richard Burton for so many years was because their R was so tumultuous and dysfunctional that it kept the "infatuation" going.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 12:29pm
Thank you all for your replies. I do miss the butterflies, but it's not a reason to end my R with AP. It's not just a PA. We have feelings for each other and we provide support and comfort to each other. Even that the excitement is not the same, other good things are happening. I no longer feel like I am on a huge roller coaster that drives me crazy; it's a
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 6:13pm
Do you see each other often ? As for me it been seven months and the butterflies are still there ! Just thinking about him I feel the butterflies.. We do not get to see each often so, when we get together it is fresh.. For him I think he get too excited and it is causing problems..:(
If a person is causing more heartaches then pleasure then it time to say, Good bye..
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2007
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 8:38am

Lady said exactly what my AP kept telling me. We don't get to see each other much, and get to be together even less. We tease and flirt through the weeks and when we finally do get together, it's amazing every time.

Sometimes it goes way too long, but it's all worth it in the end. It is different after a while because the butterflies are part nervousness. But that nervousness goes away and comfort sets in. But it's still exciting to see him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 1:09pm

Yes we do see each other often. I see him socially 4 times a week and we usually get together once or twice a week.