Where do I start and what do I do?
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| Tue, 01-13-2004 - 6:05pm |
I am in a situation that I am scared about, confused about, excited about and sad about all in the same breath. I guess the best thing to do is to start at the beginning and then go to my questions.
I have worked for a company for 2 years. There was a man who was a director for the company, and I was very close to. I did not report to him. He left about a year and half ago and I was very sad to see him leave. This summer he returned to our company. In this time, I've lost alot of weight, and he has lost alot of weight. Needless to say, we were both attracted to each other immediately, but neither of us said anything. He has always been a huggy, kissy type with everyone. He still was not my boss. This "winter" we had to travel together. Everything started off normal, with no intentions in there at all, but ended up with us sleeping together 3 times in three days of travels. There was a chance he would become my boss, and that occurred just recently. We recently went out town again and ended up sleeping together two times in one day of travel.
I am married, he is married. I am in a terrible marriage with a man who is bi-polar and it has taken a toll on me and my relationship with him. I can not leave him. I would if I could, but can't. He would seek custody of our child and has a good chance of winning due to my travels. (my job requires travel about 20 days a month) I am going to a counselor this Monday in hopes to figure out what to do with me, my marriage and this mess I am in. This brings me to my questions:
1)he says he loves his wife and he doesn't want to nor will he leave her. (why the heck did he sleep with me?) Do men just do this??
2)how do I stop thinking about him? I mean, he is now my boss. At work it's strictly professional and he will travel with me only about 4 times a year, and he won't do this while in town. This is strictly a "road" thing.
3)I am a very competitive type. I am upset that this happened, but I want him to "want" me. I want him to think about me, I want him to want more. (how bad does that sound)
Recommendations?
4)just what in the hell do I do?? How do I act, what do I say? I have never been in this situation before. (can you tell?)
Any thoughts would be helpful.

I'm new to this too, so I'll give you my thoughts.
I have to agree with flirty on all her points
One word of warning if word gets out in the company about you and the boss sleeping together you can forget about advanceing in the company the glass ceiling will get very hard very quick and waging tongues could cause this information to follow you from one company to another.
The stats that are available online make it clear that all most no men leave there wifes for the other woman and the affair partioners that do get together in a relationship post M almost all ways fail 2.5 percent make it.
Will a court really give children to a person with a mental disorder??
FREE
Sorry that I don't have any advice to give to you with regard to your situation. It sounds as if he has already set down his set of rules, so to speak. But here are some things to think about.
There seems to be an old standby of being a challenge making the interest in a person grow. The mystery, the chase, the challenge of actually getting to have that person if one works hard enough. I have seen it happen time and time again with different couples that I have been around and single individuals that are wanting to hook up with certain people that they have to actually work at being with so I would say there is some validity to the challenge and mystery theories.
But, I would then have to ask - is the A really worth it to you if it is only a road thing and can you handle that? He is telling you that he isn't going to invest in your R and that it is only going to happen (sexually) when it is convenient for him. Are you really ready to be the only one giving while he is taking? Given your current situation and the amount of giving that you have to do in a relationship with someone that is bi-polar, I would think that you would become exhausted and start to feel resentment towards the MM much like it sounds like you are starting to feel with your H. Wouldn't you rather be in an A or a new relationship after a D that involves both people being invested?
Just my thoughts.....
Hi in to deep and welcome aboard,
I'll try answering your questions the best I can...
1)he says he loves his wife and he doesn't want to nor will he leave her. (why the heck did he sleep with me?) Do men just do this?? I have to say... yes! some men just do this... however... there is also some men out there that want a little bit more... just like women.
Sweet
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