Where do the men go for advice on As

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Where do the men go for advice on As
12
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 1:34pm
I've been wondering if there are other boards out there where the men in these affairs go to.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2008
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 2:47pm
I've been to a few boards where the men will talk about their escapades and maybe get a few hi-fives, but have not seen where they have been looking for support. Some claim to have little or nothing going on sexually in their current relationships so they are obliged to go outside.

nb


Sex Taboos





pornandyourrelationship


Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 2:59pm
They don't. Men are different creatures.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 4:04pm

Hi!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 6:26pm
A good question I am one of the few men here, and sometimes I feel like I am intruding, so would love to have a men's support board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2008
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 7:39pm
I would love to hear more about the MM perspective (I'm OW).
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 8:07pm

1) buddies


2) askmen.com


3) imagination


~Olive
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2008
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 8:35pm

Hey guys (Bar is loaded and new england man),


Of course I will welcome anyone's opinions but since you two offered to give a male POV, I would like to take you up on it.


I am no longer in my A but I have a bazillion questions.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 8:58pm

One former guy here, too...will tell you that trying to maintain a friendship, with an AP who is no longer, is, almost certainly, not a good thing.(There are some here who have managed that, but only a few)

I have had contact with my former AP a couple of times, once in person, since we ended our A nearly two years ago. Given what we had experienced, knowing what we know about our passions and our personalities, our meeting became close to almost starting all over again. Affairs are, by definition, toxic, and allowing that toxicity to smolder and fester makes it very hard to move on. Affairs are limiting. When they are over, they need to be over, particularly if you find yourself in another meaningful relationship. How could you possible broach the subject, with anyone you might date, that you are still in contact with a guy you fooled around with? And even if you don't figure on telling that guy, how are you going to deal with you own feelings, if your AP is still "hanging around?"

Ending the affair is a freeing experience. Letting go of a temporary R may be hard, but it's absolutely necessary.

My AP and I have both decided, tacitly, that we will not make contact again. We never said it outright; we just know. We do ache to be friends, but she's moved on; I've moved on. Don't get caught in this trap, as, yes, your AP is probably asking for "friendship" in hopes that some day he might have a chance to get back together with you (free sex). Guys will always hedge their bets, and go back to the sure thing, the easy money.

If you are easy and still holding the torch, then sure, give in, be friends..if you have moved on, do not touch. Like a subprime mortgage....

Lazy:)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 12:05am
Hi and hello there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 12:07am
I fixed my email thing under "profiles",...oops.

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