Where do you go? What do you do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Where do you go? What do you do?
7
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 1:36pm

With AP?

While we could go to a hotel - neither of us are ready for that. Normally we meet at a random spot, but it's hard most times.

When our project starts in the fall it will be a lot easier, but for now it is quite hard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 8:22pm

Why aren't you "ready" for a hotel simplie? If you're ready to have sex, why is a hotel intimidating?

My first AP was single, but he had custody of a high school aged child that was home a lot, when not in school. Even he and I used to use a hotel once in awhile because of that.

My OM now is single, no kids, no problem. :-)

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 8:34pm

For me it makes it that much real. Yes, I need to face this, but I'm not ready to have to explain the charges because the fact of the matter is I would most likely pay. I come from a pretty well to do family and AP doesn't. I wouldn't mind paying, it's the explanation of charges. And it's not the explanation of charges to H because he doesn't have access to my "familial" account that I have access to. It's the explanation of charges to my father - who still pays my credit card bill monthly, as well as my siblings.

And it's an internal issue - seems so dirty. I dunno.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 11:37pm

u could pay cash for a room. and ask him to split the bill. it's what ap#1 and i did on occassion. we're all on a budget, right? ;)


otherwise, i had the fortune of his wife traveling about every three months to see fmaily out of state so we visited his marital bed as well.


and then there were the times of the drives along the river, the dark empty floor of a multi-level parking structures, and the empty parking lots. i can't say i'm proud of those moments now that i look back at it all, but the thrill and his touch during those times were hot, Hot, HOT.


it has taken ap#2 and i 2 years to get to full IC, and -i am not proud- but i have a minivan, and know of secluded river spots. sounds so desperate huh? yikes! otherwise, i don't know what else to do, it's like we're hot desperate high school students -- where did we all go then?


good luck with it all!!


when one does not love too much, one does not love enough --blaise pascal
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2009
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 1:41am
So your family is well to do but...you are a grown woman, why don't you get your own credit card? That takes care of the charges you wanna keep hidden.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 3:26am
I have one, but it is a joint one with H. H would know if I had one of my own because of his job. He works for the gov't and they frequently check our finances due to his job. If I got my own credit card, in my own name, it would show up on his file. Then I'd have to explain that. And yes, I am a grown woman, and yes my family is well to do and yes, my father still pays a monthly credit card bill for me, just as he does for my brother who is older than me and the one that is younger than me. It's just something he does.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 10:16am

Can't you take a cash advance on the card? Then you could explain it any way you like, it wouldn't show up as "No tell motel" LOL.

BTW, even though your AP is less well off, I think I would expect him to pay or at least pay half. I'm way more "well off" than my OM but he always pays for lunch. It would make him feel awful, I think, if I paid all the time.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 11:23am

he can pay for it on credit and you can pay him back in cash..


as for feeling not ready, if you are not there emotionally for a hotel meet, it's best to give it some more time.