Where to go, what to do

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Where to go, what to do
Tue, 08-21-2012 - 4:44pm

Hi all - 

this is my first post here, so it might be a longish one.  Anyway, I have been married to my husband for 5 and a half years.  He is a great guy and has not done anything inherently wrong in our relationship, I think we have just grown apart. I am starting to feel held back and suffocated in my relationship.

Meanwhile a month ago I met an incredible man online.  He treats me amazingly well.  He too is married, and happily so.  I have no dillusions that we will end up together or even meet in person to be honest.  

We talk every day and have a closemess that is indescribable.  I am so afraid of losing him or getting hurt.  The issues with my marriage are totally seperate. This man gives me a sense of self-worth that I have never experienced before, but sometimes I feel like he is pulling away from me.  

I am just not really sure what to do.  I go through phases of thinking I should end my online relationship but the thought of not talking to him makes me lose my breath.  Does anyone else have any espoeriences like this?

Thanks for listening!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Tue, 08-21-2012 - 5:17pm

Hi Kelly,

Almost everyone in an affair has this experience or something very simular to it. You are experiencing the effects of an addiction.

Do yourself a favor, end this now and take a long hard  look at your marriage, either work on it with your H or end it . Then take the time to grieve it, so you can heal properly, find peace with yourself  and  then find yourself a man who is available. Affairs bring heart ache, your AP says he is not going to leave his marriage and he means it. Your AP probably pulls back, because he feels an emotional pull and is fighting it, because he has no plans to leave his marriage.  When emotions become involved, it's a whole new ballgame and one heck of a ride.

Good luck, find your happiness in yourself, because you won't find it in an affair, even an emotional one (((Hugs)))