where is my man ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
where is my man ?
22
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 12:21pm
that is what I want to know!


Edited 4/12/2004 5:52 am ET ET by xxx_trouble

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2003
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 1:18pm
Trouble, I've been reading your posts and my heart goes out to you. Not because this MM has not contacted you, but because you're evidently suffering psyhcological distress. You NEED to get to a doctor, get some treatment and get a referal to a psychiatrist or some sort of counselling. You're obviously in the depths of a major depression and engaging in what I refer to as "stinking thinking" - all that "How can I go on with my life", "I have no one", "Maybe I should of stayed with the man that abused me for 25 years", all and the things you've said in other posts.

Of course you can go on with your life! What's so bad about being alone? It's a good place to start discovering YOU. You went straight form an abusive marriage into a relationship with a man who was never available - primarily because he paid you some attention and made you feel good about yourself. And you need to believe those good things about yourself even in his absense form you life. Just because he's gone, doesn't mean the good in you has gone.

You need to spend time finding YOU. Having a man is not the be all and end all of existence. Why would anyone want to be in an abusive relationship rather than be alone? The greatest joy in any intimate relationship is when it's two whole people coming together because they WANT to be with each other, not because one party NEEDS the other. And at the moment, you're anything but whole and well. You're self esteem is non evident, you're self pittying, and needy in the extreem. And they're not attractive qualities to anyone. You need to fix you so you can then find a man who deserves you!


Edited 4/10/2004 1:59 pm ET ET by cheshierfire

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 5:03pm
you are wrong. I am just having myself a pitty party .
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 9:28pm
hi xxx

I hate to see someone who feels so sad! I think you should find some new friends and start going out and doing things. Don't ask me how i think you should do that because thats one answer I don't have. I find myself in the same boat at times. I do know that if you had stayed with your xh your life would probably be more unhappy, I am just forming my opinion from what I have read of your posts. Just don't let him or any other man have that much control over your emotions, you need to find something to make YOU happy!

hope I didn't step out of bounds with this post.

Good luck, if you ever need to talk feel free to email me

SB

Evilmama55@Yahoo.com

 Seeburg    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 10:05pm
Thank-you for pulling me back to reality. Would not ever go back to Ex . He got married last weekend and I am glad. I was just weak and feeling lost and sorry for myself. Both not good when I have only me to take care of me. I am who I am though. I am a woman who loves too much. I know it. I like who I am. Other people like me too. I get asked to do things. Just have the hardest time getting myself to do them. It is not easy knowing exactly what you want and need and not being able to have it. I won't give up on what I know is right for me. I do not want to become obsessed though. I know it is passion not obsession.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 7:58am
Yes, it is passion. But it's one way passion - and that equals obsession. If he was as passionate about as you as you are about him then you wouldn't be in the predicament you're in. Wake up and smell the coffee!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 8:06am
I think you are a basher and don't deserve my time of day!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 9:09am
No, trouble, I'm not a 'basher' at all. I've been where you are in previous relationship. But if you don't want to face the truth, then that's you're problem. Why is it, do you think, that so few regulars have resoneded to you? I'll tell you why - becuase they didn't want to be the ones who have to point out to you that which is more than obvious! THIS MM DOES NOT LOVE YOU!!!!! Move one! And make a good life for you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 10:47am
What is your story ? And why are you on this board? We are here for support ! Just because your relationship turned out bad does not mean the rest of ours will! I know my man will contact me as soon as he can . I know he loves me ! And what gives you the right to judge my situation. You should state your opinion in a more tender,careing way when dealing with matters of the heart ! Everyone of us has weak moments of insecurity here! We need to vent them and get alittle support at the time. You are not going to be always right!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 10:57am
No, trouble, my current relationship, which started as a friendship while he was still married didn't turn out bad at all. In fact, we'll be married within a year.

Support doesn't mean sugar coating things and telling you you'll hear from you MM soon and that it's obvious he loves you. Because it isn't! And, honey, you're not having a weak 'moment' of insecurity - you're having a life of it. And the only one who can change that is YOU. Do you not love yourself enough to want something better than this in life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 11:01am
If your relationship turned out great and you are getting married within a year,WHY ARE YOU HERE ON THIS BOARD TRYING TO GET ME TO GIVE UP ON MINE?

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