where

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
where
23
Wed, 07-15-2009 - 11:06pm

Hi, All


Sorry, to disappointed you all in taking my AP back ~

“"Truer words were never spoken -" Ah, but true words leave hearts broken! Truth is only for the wise - Lovers ought to stick to lies”

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
In reply to: galcurve
Thu, 07-23-2009 - 9:02pm

He was the first one to tell me that he love me.

“"Truer words were never spoken -" Ah, but true words leave hearts broken! Truth is only for the wise - Lovers ought to stick to lies”

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2004
In reply to: galcurve
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 11:57am

In your first post you said that you were sorry to disappoint everyone. You are not disappointing everyone, this is about you, you have to live with your decision and suffer the consequences that will arises from being in this relationship, you are the one paying the price. This affects no one but you, only you will suffer the consequences. This man has serious problems with abuse along with feeling that women are last, women are beneath him, he needs a touch of reality. He's not even on 4 legged animal level., he is not worthy of being called a man, because he's not...a real man doesn't have to abuse someone to feel better about them self. You said there are no boundaries in his culture, there are boundaries in this country, he is in OUR country. You're only hurting yourself in this relationship which to me is SAD, not disappointing, you are letting this man define who you are...he is no prize and not someone to be proud of by having him in your life. In general, you will be pitied by most people. What's the payoff? There is none, only taking away who you truly are as a person, lowering your self-esteem just by being around him, even taking your power away.

In my opinion, and I am not judging you, I have lived and survived abuse...it seems like you need to take some time for yourself and deal with any issues that you have, such as why do you feel the need to be with someone like him and allow the abuse, don't you think you deserve better? Why are you waiting on him to decide where this relationship is going? It's not his decision, it's your decision, and that is something only you can decide. You will have to live with your choice and the cost of being in an abusive relationship.

In some of your posts it seems as if you were making excuses for him or trying to justify his behavior. It's his choice to choose this toxic behavior and treat you like he does, no matter what culture he is from or what he has been through in his life. There are no excuses or justifications for treating anyone abusive. He treats you like this because you allow it and as long as you do he will continue to do so, remember you are beneath him in his mind. Most likely his abusive behavior escalate. What reason does he have to stop? Only you can decide if being with him is worth it, is this what you are willing to settle for in your life. Isn't the price too high?

Anyway, it comes down to a choice that only you can make, your being with him isn't hurting anyone but you. If you feel that you don't deserve better or the money and sex is worth your dignity and self-respect, that's your choice, but you are paying a high price. I only wish the best for you and I hope you can become strong enough to take back control over your life "You Teach People How To Treat You", This is not okay...this man is sick and gets off on the control and power that he has over you, and most likely will continue to whether it's with you or someone else. I can't even imagine the life of anyone will endure who ends up with this man. I can only hope and pray that he is put away before he hurts someone. Just remember he is not worth it, you have to make a choice to end this relationship or live with the abuse You deserve to live life to it's fullest and enjoy being happy. We don't get a do over, so we need to make the best of life while we can.

Becky

Edited 7/27/2009 12:05 pm ET by rebeccavs

Edited 7/27/2009 12:29 pm ET by rebeccavs

Edited 7/27/2009 3:00 pm ET by rebeccavs




Edited 7/27/2009 3:09 pm ET by rebeccavs
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
In reply to: galcurve
Tue, 07-28-2009 - 4:22pm

Becky,


Thank you for your reply. I agree with you and everyone here, I have to let him go.

"Be yourself no matter what they say"


"


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“"Truer words were never spoken -" Ah, but true words leave hearts broken! Truth is only for the wise - Lovers ought to stick to lies”

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