he feels like you are now done with your little snit or however way he views it and he can go back into his little comfort zone, and go on like it was before.
You are so right about that!!! Exactly, he acts like I pitched my fit and I should be over it by
wow, i though this was me write these messages. i am in the same situation. I am terrified to leave H. i would be less afraid if he left for some reason that i don't fully understand but just the thought of me taking the girls and leaving terrifies me. H has been saying he is leaving for the last 3 months now and is still here. I think my oldest DD is ready for him to go.. she has seen tooo much. H is disabled and he keeps saying that when his check comes give it to him and he will be gone. well when his monthly check came i handed it to him and he asked me what i expected him to do with it. well to make a long story short, he told me to just go ahead and deposit it. so i did..and i told him if i do then don't ask for it back, i am going to pay bills with it and the mortagage. well a week later he asks for it ... and the fight begun. now he is saying that when the next one comes to give it to him and he is gone.., one can only hope and pray he holds to his word this time!! things go so much smoother for me and the girls when he is out of the picture. all of us are happier. lets see what next month brings. I want to be happy again and if leaving H is what does it then i guess i need to find a way to make that happen. its just so hard. he had been my best friend for 13 years before we got together and then we were together for 2 years before we got married. we have been married 7 years now and i think even if we split i will always care about him we just don't make a good couple anymore
Honestly you can't make a decision to stay or leave an M while an AP is in the picture. You just can't. You can try to say you were unhappy before or that it has nothing to do with AP..but it's not really true.
I'm not just saying this..I lived it.
I also was afraid to leave H because I didn't want to break his heart or make him sad. You know what? It's been several months now and he is doing just fine. It is a disservice to pretend you want to be with someone or to have sex with someone when you don't feel like it. Can you imagine how you would feel if you found out your spouse was doing that?
When you are convinced that you would be happier alone than with your H, you will know it is time to go. In the meantime it is kinder to be honest..maybe try a separation like one of the posters suggested. Don't beat yourself up because you don't feel something. It just happens. Nobody's fault. It's..life.
I will tell you though, that I am incredibly happy since I made the decision to leave my M. It was awful, but I am finally myself again. And that makes it all worth it.
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he feels like you are now done with your little snit or however way he views it and he can go back into his little comfort zone, and go on like it was before.
You are so right about that!!! Exactly, he acts like I pitched my fit and I should be over it by
You say: "I can't leave my H because of the pain I would
I want to be happy again and if leaving H is what does it then i guess i need to find a way to make that happen. its just so hard. he had been my best friend for 13 years before we got together and then we were together for 2 years before we got married. we have been married 7 years now and i think even if we split i will always care about him we just don't make a good couple anymore
Dear Frustrated:
I just wanted to offer some support to you.
Honestly you can't make a decision to stay or leave an M while an AP is in the picture. You just can't. You can try to say you were unhappy before or that it has nothing to do with AP..but it's not really true.
I'm not just saying this..I lived it.
I also was afraid to leave H because I didn't want to break his heart or make him sad. You know what? It's been several months now and he is doing just fine. It is a disservice to pretend you want to be with someone or to have sex with someone when you don't feel like it. Can you imagine how you would feel if you found out your spouse was doing that?
When you are convinced that you would be happier alone than with your H, you will know it is time to go. In the meantime it is kinder to be honest..maybe try a separation like one of the posters suggested. Don't beat yourself up because you don't feel something. It just happens. Nobody's fault. It's..life.
I will tell you though, that I am incredibly happy since I made the decision to leave my M. It was awful, but I am finally myself again. And that makes it all worth it.
Pages