Who Else Knows?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Who Else Knows?
5
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 9:03am
I'm just wondering who else knows about your A? Did you tell them or did they find you out?


As for me, I have one co-worker who knows. There was a point when I thought I was imagining things between MM and I, and my co-worker and I were at a retreat and were doing the late at night girl talk thing. I told her that I had thought there might be something between MM & I and we laughed about it. A week or two later I realized that I had been right, and I told her about it. I have found that it's extremely helpful to have one other person who knows. I know I'm not supposed to trust anyone, so I'm not thinking about lying to her and telling her it's over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 9:36am
I also have one friend, a co-worker from a former job, who knows. She has known for six months, when I first said - "I think I have a crush on this guy at my office." She has helped me as this crush grew into stronger feelings. When I feel like I am getting "out of control" in my thoughts about him - I call her. This was quite helpful to have a sounding board - since my OM only just last week told me that he loves me. I knew he liked me - but he's gay and I wasn't sure that he would ever tell me that he loves me.

I would never dream of telling anyone else - which is partly why I sought out this message board - as one more place I can share what's happening, read other people's stories, and know I am not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 10:36am
my MM's wife found out before he left her. she called me and yelled and screamed and threatened me. i figured being nasty back wouldnt help any so i just bit my tongue and let her have her say. we had talked only twice more in a more civil way but since he actually moved from her home we havent talked at all. i was shocked when she called. MM was right next to me while she was yelling at me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 1:21pm
I have not told one person and never will. One night while out drinking with my girl friend I almost told her but didn't. We are now no longer friends due to some backstabbing stuff she pulled so I am so glad I didn't tell her. You never know what will happen to the relationship with the person you tell. C
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 2:23pm
I told only one person about my A....my sister.

I'm single and my friends know that I have somebody,

some even met him but nobody has any idea I'm with

a married man. There are two reasons for I'd rather

keep it secret: 1.I don't want to be judged 2.you never

know if people keep secret what you want them to keep secret.

It's hard... I spent New Year all by myself and wished nobody

call and ask me about it...I'm such a bad liar.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 2:40pm
I've told one person, a coworker who we confide in each other about our problems with our H's. She is supportive in that she knows I need what this other relationship gives me. She would never tell anyone I'm sure about that, just as I would never tell anyone what she confides in me about her marriage.

I would never tell my sister, even though SHE told ME when she was starting to enter into an A (with a single guy, she is M). She is also kind of best-friends with this single guy's sister, and she knew something was going on between them and was not happy about it. Also, my sister made the mistake of letting it out to my brother-in-law and he sometimes makes snide jokes about it. I am worried for her if her H ever heard about it.

xxxx