Whose in the same boat?
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Whose in the same boat?
| Thu, 09-25-2003 - 12:40am |
Is anyone else in the same boat as me? My mm is going to leave. Are any of you waiting on your mm to leave soon? If so, how are you dealing with it? What does he tell you? I know some of you say that he isn't going to leave. And that could happen. I'm willing to wait and see. I truely believe he has ever intention to leave. But I do remind myself that he might want to and might try, but that doesn't mean that he will be able to go through with it. Anyhow, I just wondered if any of you were in a similar boat as me? Thanks, Jdreamer96

but from past experience i can only say that if you love him and want to wait, then please by all means do so. but keep in mind that as you posted, MM leaving may or may not happen, sooner OR later. as long as you keep a realistic perspective on the R, you will weather the ups and downs of it.
think about what YOU what.
take care,
gurl
Im in your position right now...MM said he told his wife he wanted a divorce a few months ago STIL THERE...then this past weekend he gave her his ring back...STILL THERE...now I know it takes time...
Bottom line - YOU CANT MAKE A PERSON STAY - its a CHOICE...
I tell my MM all the time he tells me how unhappy he is he is leaving balablabla...MY response cant be too unhappy if your still there.
ITS YOUR CHOICE - and he agrees...so why is he still there...excuses kids...feels sorry for her...SO OK hurt the one u trully so call love...
CANT EXPLAIN IT...but how long do we wait...thats up to you...
MY PLAN MY GOAL - not that its gonna happen and I have told him this if he cannot get his crap together by March (Y march) its a year we have been together...I dont want a commitment from him I just want him single. Whats going to happen if he leaves her WHO KNOWS...
I figured about 6 months from now - would give him more then plenty of time for him to see what he wants...he actually said it was going to be before then he said he would go insane if he stayed...WE SHALL SEE!!
I WISH YOU THE BEST...i know i probably was not able to give you advise but just thought to let you know your not alone out there...I am in the same boat...NOT EASY...I wish it would happen like YESTERDAY!!
HUGS - Sandy
I think the boat is actually pretty full...
My MM told me that until we started the A, he never seriously considered leaving W, he had resolved himself to try to keep things civil until the kids were grown. But now he talks about the future, about us together. I was not the one who brought up a future together as I didn't want to get my hopes up that this could really happen. I didn't want to think about it until he was free, but like I said, he is the one who has brought up the subject. It is hard not to get caught up in this wonderful fantasy. We are seven months into the A, there have been 3 times that I really thought he was finally going to start things in motion to file for D, but he hasn't come through. I will admit that I was devestated after the last time that he didn't actually do something and I again had to face the fact that he just might not get a D. She has told him that she wants a D and he has told her that he wants a D but neither one has done anything about it. They both use the excuse that they want to wait until the kids are older (or grown). The kis are very young by the way, so it would be at least 15 years before the youngest is grown.
After the last episode, I told him that he needs to either aggressively work on his marriage, accept that this is as good as it will ever be (so quit griping about it)and that this is his life, or do something to get out of the situation. Will I wait for him? Yes - I love him dearly and have for a number of years. How long will I wait? I have no idea. Some days are easier than others. We live on opposite coasts so we do not get to see eachother very often (twice in the past 7 months)and that adds to the difficulty of our R.
As for your situation, make sure that he is leaving the marriage for his own sake and not for you. If he leaves for his own sake the liklihood of him getting back with his wife are lessened. If she doesn't want the D be prepared that she will do everything possible to get him to come back to her. I wish you luck, and I hope that it works out well for you - keep us updated.
saatty
And it seems we are about the same amount of time in to the R. Sometimes you wonder if its worth it!! I KNOW I DO.
BEST OF LUCK - Sandy
HOPE