Who/What is your AP to your kids??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Who/What is your AP to your kids??
5
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 9:43am

My 3 year AP and his wife have been friends of mine and my stbx for 20 years. So...my kids have known them literally all their lives, but haven't seen her in years, only him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 11:05am
I think what you're doing now is the right thing to do. Just keep letting them think this is a "friend" relationship only, because sooner or later, they will discover that he is still married. If you let them in on the "romantic" nature of your relationship, and then they find out he is still married, kids can be pretty judgmental. Things are more "black and white" to them, and as they enter their mid teenage years they will use this stuff against you (no matter how much you think they won't). Since he's a long time family friend, you can just keep acting like he's a friend - until or unless he finally gets divorced. If that happens, then of course you can let them know the true nature of everything. If it never happens, you might share everything with them when they're all grown up and can see the "shades of gray" that very young people just don't ordinarily see - especially with their parents, who may be on a pedestal in their eyes.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 11:08am
By the way - I'm not in a similar situation, but that's what I would do if I were. My OM is a complete stranger to my grown kids. It's kind of strange... I've been sharing my life with my OM for 10 years, and he knows so very much about my family, children, grandchildren (who have come AFTER our relationship started). But they don't know a thing about him.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 12:52pm

Just keep letting them think this is a "friend" relationship only, because sooner or later, they will discover that he is still married.


Yep, better to lie to them and find you out later.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Wed, 05-13-2009 - 4:50pm
My two kids that are in college know about my MM. My youngest daughter found out about my MM a couple of years ago, she asked to borrow my cellphone and saw a text msg from him. Up until that point you would have thought they were best friends. From that txt msg until now she has not talked to him. We put off being together because of it. She goes to college next year. Were hoping between now and then she starts seeing the grey side of things.
Scar
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2008
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 11:09am

My AP is "Coach _______" to my DS.