WHY???!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008
WHY???!!!!
1
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 4:17pm

I am meeting AP tomorrow. I am excited about it on one hand and discouraged on the other since he has been having an EA with someone else. I love him with such ferocity, so much so that I think it has to be unhealthy. I have always loved him like this even before we were married.

I don't want advice or to be told to leave because I am not at that point yet. I have been considering it, but that's as far into that I am.

I confided in a friend who has had multiple A's. She told me to detach myself and not to expect anything from him. She is right, but how does one do that? He is my best friend. We talk all the time and confide in each other. We have always been the best of friends. How do I pull away and not give so much of myself? Counseling is not an potion right now.

I love my H and have been wrought with horrible feelings of guilt for what I am doing to him and my family. I know this is wrong, I know I should end it but I can't bear to not have AP in my life.

I know this post is a mess and may not make much sense so I apologize, I just needed to vent. Feeling extra angsty today:-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
In reply to: lyricalmania
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 4:27pm

Mania,


Hi.


I don't know your story...is tomorrow the first time you'll be "with" your AP? Or are you in the midst of a PA already.


You didn't ask for advice, so I won't give any.