Why am I so blue today?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Why am I so blue today?
9
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 11:48am
I am feeling really down and out today! My MM left this am for a convention for 5 days - which is not a big deal, but I typically see him at least once during the weekend! I'm so sad today - he's not with his W, but with collegues who know me (but, can't know about me) I'm not sure how often I'll hear from him and am a little hesitant to call him while he is gone because of who he's with. We only got to talk for a few minutes yesterday (of course, he was out on his porch, answered his phone while his W was inside, so you can only imagine how quick and formal the convo was) And...the last time he was away like this - one of his friends had a long talk w/him about me and thought it was time he ended it with me. Which of course, has never set well with me in my mind. He has since told this friend we've ended it..but, I guess in the back of my mind, I'm afraid they'll have a few beers and reintroduce the topic. (maybe not?)

I'm just sad that our contact will be limited, I won't see him for over a week and so afraid he'll get lectured about me again!

I wish I could blame this on PMS..LOL, but I can't!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 12:12pm

hey ducks, you're feeling blue because you're disconnected from MM while he traveling.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 12:14pm

Hang in there. You two are still together. He knows what's what.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 12:21pm
ducks37 I feel blue too, must be something in the air... Even my H noticed it yesterday and I attributed it to being under the weather.. I have been feeling a little sad lately that om & I could never be anything more than what we are right now. There are someday that I can accept that and others I feel a little blue. I was almost onto something a few months ago, but I can't back there - its lost. A paradise lost as Milton would say.... I don't know, where I am going but sometimes it doesn't matter than just being in the present time. Hope I made sense. Still kinda feeling sick today...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 12:23pm
Hi Ducks, cheer up, everything will be okay!! My MM goes on alot of conferences too. Its too bad when we can't see them when we kind of expected to. For example, something's come up and I had to cancel for tomorrow (and damn, I hate having to do that)!! He's trying to cajole me into seeing him, but there's no way.

I feel kind of down about it, but the upside is that I will probably see him Mon. or Tues instead.

Besides you know what they say about absence makes the heart grow fonder ...

I think that is so true!!
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 12:27pm

juliet, i'm sorry you're down and feeling blue.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 12:47pm
Thanks ladies..maybe there is something in the air or some crazy way the stars are lined up? I feel so silly - I can go (and have) 5 days without seeing him! I'm sitting here in tears. I guess it just goes back to my insecuries about him (which I need to control)Oh Gosh, Gurl..I hope he's not sleeping with any of his male colleagues or thier wives! At least I know he's the only one "alone" at the conference (everyone else brought thier spouse) so I guess it could be worse!

I'm sure he's gonna have a great time, warm weather, golf, the beach (hey - okay, so I'm a little jealous) The last thing he said to me yesterday - was "get your A** on a plane!" Like that could really happen....

Whoever said A were easy, huh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 12:52pm
Thanks Gurl.. I know I would look bad without my eyebrows. :) Yeah this week has been a little emotional for me too, I have been bringing out memories buried deep in my conscious and they do take a toll on you. I am sure I'll feel better tomorrow....
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 1:00pm
I understand how you feel. It is so difficult to love and care for someone and not be able to be with them. I think that is the most difficult thing about having an A and the reason I know I could never have one again. When I care about someone, I want to be able to tell my friends about them and have them meet my family and just generally share our lives. I can't do that right now with my OW and that kills me.

If it makes you feel any better, I won't be able to see my OW for about 6 months. She lives 300 miles away and we both have a lot in our lives to get settled. I don't know why that would make you feel better, but you know what they say, misery loves company. The only positive thing for me is when I am able to be with her, it will be in a more honest place as I plan to be separated then.

Just focus on other things and I'm sure this 5 days will fly by. If it helps, write him a little e-mail just to let him know you were thinking of him while he was gone. And be sure to show him how much you missed him when you can be together. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 1:38pm
hey ducks, doncha just wish you could drop everything and get on that plane!!

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board