why cant i stay on an even keel?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
why cant i stay on an even keel?
4
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 10:58am

I am feeling so sad today. Im not even sure why. SM went out last night with his son and his son's friends to a concert, which i knew about and was ok with. I wanted to go, he wanted me to go , but we both know I cant do things like that with him.


My H is off work for a few days now and Im having to keep a smile on my face and act all happy and content. H trys. He really has been trying as of late, to make things better between us. We are going to be empty nesters here soon and I know he is thinking of us having more time together. I am so scared of that empty nest and not having any kids here to be a buffer between us. I KNOW I should give us ( H and me ) a chance. He is a good man. He has his faults but dont we all? I guess I am battling knowing I need to give us a chance to strengthen our M and I should give SM an out so he can find someone that he can be with with, without having to hide. Some days I am just so tired of all the hiding, secrets, lies, deception, worry, guilt....etc....I guess today is one of those days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 11:45am
I know how you feel. You wait all week for one day to be happy. Then something gets in the way of your day and you gotta wait another week. Dony worry all those feelings will go away as soon as your together. Then you think he's all mine.
Scar
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 4:03pm

Spent the day with H. That only makes things more difficult to deal with. When I am forced ( not

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 5:23pm

Any chance of leaving H?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 7:41pm
no, no chance, and OM knows this and he says he is ok with it. still wants to remain in this with me regardless of that fact.