why didn't I come sooner

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2009
why didn't I come sooner
22
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 10:01am

I spent most of yesterday just reading posts. It has been sooooo helpful to just be here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 11:02am

It's a process and an evolution.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 11:12am

That makes alot of sense. My H is a church staff member too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 11:38am

wow, btrue.

thanks for sharing that. i frequently read posts that say "leave your M" but i never know how that is done. i would imagine it happens just like you said - realizing over and over that you can't live like this even if it looks like a fairy tale from the outside.

you are amazingly brave and i hope you feel rewarded for that.

Mrs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 11:46am

torn,

i need to go back and read your story but you sound like a decent woman in a bad situation. how do we get here? i ask myself every day.

my MM and i have never discussed leaving. only recently, i shared something about my M with him - i don't ask about his. in the middle of that, i said only feel like i need to hang on for one more year (for a family event) and then i don't know what i will be thinking about my M. at that moment, i felt a shift in MM that scared me, wondering if he thought we would change - better or worse, together or apart. for the first time, i didn't ask what he was thinking.

i know what it is like to feel two extremes at the same time.
Mrs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 12:30pm

Mrs.


I did just that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 1:33pm

HIJACK.


Mrs.!


Hi!


I continue to follow your story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 2:02pm

Be true,


Hi.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 2:22pm

Well I always knew something would have to be said to the congregation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 2:48pm

<>

very insightful. part of the investment.

and yes it sounds like you were the whipping girl. there was no reason to tell the congregation the reason for the split. that could have been handled much differently and with much more compassion for all parties.

Mrs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 2:52pm

more hijack -

hi fly!

thank you for your support. we're good for now - largely because he is respectful of me and attentive to my moods. and we both know the risks.

Mrs.

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