Why Do I Do These Things?
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Why Do I Do These Things?
| Thu, 05-06-2004 - 4:58pm |
This is very hard. I am in a long term relationship, but we are not together all the time. I have befriended a couple that live in my neighborhood and our kids play together. This started out innocently enough, but then the man started coming over to watch movies (we both like horror) and his wife was encouraging this as me being his friend. He is the caregiver for their children while she works. He knows of my relationship and I of course was fully aware of his. However, the more we have talked and gotten closer, he revealed things that I was embarassed about knowing regarding his relationship with his wife (who I also like very much) and I told him things I shouldn't have about my relationship with my SO. Then we got drunk one night and he made a pass at me. This was playful and I addressed it right away but he swore he did not mean to and that he was embarassed I would think that. I felt awkward then and perhaps maybe I had been wrong, but then one night he came over and I think he had been drinking a little and told me all sorts of things that blew me out of the water about how he thought I was sexy, he thought about what it would be like to kiss me, etc. and just out and out threw me with the things he said. I have to admit it was an ego booster to hear those things even though I had never really thought of him that way at all (for of course many of the obvious reasons and then some) but I told him I wanted us to maintain our friendship which I enjoyed and with his wife as well, our kids, etc. I wanted it to continue and to put that away in a file and write it off. He kept coming over, we kept being friends, and all was well, but then he started coming on to me little by little again and it just kept going. I know..I know I should have cut it off then but I was enjoying the attention I suppose even though I knew it was wrong. To make this unusually long story short...we had sex. My SO doesn't know, his wife doesn't know...I tried to stop it then and said we shouldn't let that happen again, it was not smart, and against how I wanted to live my life. He agreed but then .. it happened again. Now its been going on for weeks and it just keeps happening. Not every time we hang out, but it happens and it was so good. Its unreal how it turns me on so and he and i are for all other purposes friends, its not a romance, but somehow we can't stop.
We are both lonely, me for my SO who is not around but twice a month and he because for all intents and purposes, they are more friends than lovers in their marriage. He sleeps in the kids' room while she sleeps with the kids in their bed. Its weird and at times, I almost think she doesn't care if he cheats b/c she is not interested in him that way anymore. Who knows! I just don't know how I fell so far to do something like this that makes me feel bad because its against how I generally would behave but at the same time, the late night visits are hard to stop. He is right across the hall and there we are all the time. What is wrong with me??? He is so not even the type of man I have ever been attracted to. His personality and the way we are so much alike is the only thing I can attribute it to but the sex has been intense and the fact that he is younger than me has been a turn on too. I think I am going through my midlife crisis early.
We are both lonely, me for my SO who is not around but twice a month and he because for all intents and purposes, they are more friends than lovers in their marriage. He sleeps in the kids' room while she sleeps with the kids in their bed. Its weird and at times, I almost think she doesn't care if he cheats b/c she is not interested in him that way anymore. Who knows! I just don't know how I fell so far to do something like this that makes me feel bad because its against how I generally would behave but at the same time, the late night visits are hard to stop. He is right across the hall and there we are all the time. What is wrong with me??? He is so not even the type of man I have ever been attracted to. His personality and the way we are so much alike is the only thing I can attribute it to but the sex has been intense and the fact that he is younger than me has been a turn on too. I think I am going through my midlife crisis early.
Signatures On
| Thu, 05-06-2004 - 7:33pm |
Personally, I say "Congratulations!!" - I could never frown on anyone being able to experience good sex. Take your experience for what it's worth. You only live once.
| Fri, 05-07-2004 - 11:37am |
I just don't understand why we can't seem to stop...I think its like the flood gates get opened and its hard to turn back. I think the fact that he is so much more inexperienced turns me on a bit and being able to do those things to him is the kicker. Its like we are friends, but then there is that too. Its definitely good and I am just afraid I am going to get too spoiled. haha
