Why do I do these things???
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 12:34pm |
I'm 23 years old and I married my high school sweetheart 2 years ago after being with him for 5 years. He was my first everything and he is very good to me and I love him very much.
About 5 months ago, I was approached by someone that I was immediately attracted to, and I resisted for as long as I could (I had never cheated before this), but eventually I couldn't do it anymore. It was around this time that I was becoming extremely busy with work and friends and H would rather sit at home, so I would do my thing and he would do his. Anyhow it became a full blown EMA but for the last month things have cooled off. I didn't slow down our contact purposely, but I was feeling very guilty and decided I shouldn't be seeing him as much. So I suppose it's not exactly "over" and I'm sure if I saw him again soon things might be different....
Last week I was feeling bored while H was watching TV and I decided I would log on to a dating site just for the hell of it. Well, I met this guy who lives half a country away but seems sweet and is absolutely gorgeous from the pictures I've seen. We seem to have a lot in common too. I figured it didn't matter since he didn't know who I was anyways. Nothing more than that has or could happen, but it leaves me wondering why I am doing these things???!!! Constantly looking for attention and affection. H gives me plently of affection but we never DO anything anymore - never go on dates, he never wants to come out with my friends, etc. etc. All he does it watch TV and sit at home. Boring, boring, boring. I'm still young, I want to have fun, not sit at home all the time. And sexually speaking, H is kind of lacking in the woman-pleasing department no matter how many times we discuss it. I enjoy the affection and the closeness of it, but I guess that's another story for another day!
I'm just mixed up about what's going on, what I'm doing....somewhat of a rant and I'm wondering if anyone has any input....also, do you consider online 'dating' cheating?

I personally consider online dating a form of cheating but in the smallest sense - especially if he lives far away and there's no way of making actual personal contact with him.
I do think there is somewhat of a deeper problem here though - you're young and of course you want to go out, and if your interests differ significantly from your H's then it can lead to problems. If you decide you want to work it out with H, I suggest having an honest talk with him about your relationship and making it work. Until he can give you what you crave, you'll only continue to seek out attention from other people.
Jeanie