Why do I even care?
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Why do I even care?
| Sat, 05-02-2009 - 9:20pm |
Well, last I knew as of 3 weeks ago, MM told me he and his W were going through with their divorce and he also proceeded to tell me that he needed his space and felt he should be alone and then got pissy with me and started twisting around crap about how HE went out and got an attorney and I hadn't even TALKED to mine and then slammed my car door and left....wouldn't talk to me at work all day and then I texted him after work telling him about how I was so tired of him making promises he never kept and how all he ever did was hurt me....he texted me back and accused me of playing games with him and to leave him alone. We have not spoken or even looked at each other for the last 3 weeks at work. I noticed when leaving work the other day, his vehicle is still parked in front of the rental house he owns right next to his main house....he moved out of the house a month ago when he told his wife that he couldn't live with her and make things work when he was in love with me and moved into the rental next door with his aunt and cousins. My friend told me she saw him at a graduation party last night and I asked if he was by himself....she said she didn't know what his wife looked like so I described her and she said no, that he was by himself....I just have so many mixed feelings....I'm so angry with him for throwing me under the bus AGAIN, but if he's really going through with his divorce, what the hell is his problem? I mean, that's why he left her so that he could be with me. Sounds strange, but I would almost feel better knowing that he did indeed go back to his wife ( AGAIN) instead of being single and not wanting to see me....I think it would hurt a lot more to know that he was divorced and was seeing someone else, does that make sense? But I know what doesn't make sense is how and why I feel like this...I shouldn't, I should be glad to be rid of the jerk out of my life...I don't miss the anxiety, I don't miss the drama, I don't miss the sneaking around and lying...sorry for rambling...I just REALLY had a HARD time dealing with my emotions today.

Hi Gabby,
I know your having a tough time and I'm not going to give you a tough time because I have trouble letting emotions go.
(((Julz)))
It breaks my heart to see you still struggling with this situation.
Maybe it isn't your heart that won't let go. Maybe its part ego...wanting to win the battle, and part insecure neediness. Why should he make a choice? He's got two women asking "how high" when he says jump. The wife won't kick him out permenently, and you keep trying to get him to talk to you so you can try and get him to do what you want. The thing is, even if THIS time he's genuine, and I doubt it, what would you have won? He's stringing the wife along with you. What guarantee would you have that even living together or being married to you would stop him from changing his mind and walking out the door again? I'd spend every one of my days wondering if that was the one he was going choose to leave again. He claimes to love you, but strings you along just like the wife. Is that the kind of "love" you want? I think it would serve him right if you AND the wife dumps his ass.