Why do I have to feel like the idiot?!

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Why do I have to feel like the idiot?!
10
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 1:58pm

I don't know why I even text AP.  I always feel like I am bothering him.  But I get tired of waiting around for him and it's frustrating.  I don't think this is going to work again, and I know I keep saying it,  and I am not sure how much longer I want to play his games.  I don't get the responses I want, and when I do, I get upset.  It's like pulling teeth, and it should not be.  He should want to talk to me.  I am this close, and I mean close, to telling him off.  I told him to go back to ignoring me as usual.  Now he wants to talk a little and use names we have each other.  Like really dude?!  Get it straight or don't bother!

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 4:46pm

When you 2 started seeing each other again, did you talk about how you wanted it to be?  Any R that frustrates you more than enhances your life is no way to live.  I'm having "one of those days", too,  Haven't heard from xAP since Friday - shouldn't he want to talk to me more than that if he's wanting to reconcile?  But, I have no idea what's going on; he could be sick, he could be busy, he may need time to himself, etc., and I'm not going to spend my time stewing.  I can't get upset every time he doesn't act the way I think he should, or do the "if he really cared, he would..." thing because then you're just ready to be mad all the time, and, as Pleases said, trying to force things. 

So, yes, I'm babbling about myself here, but my point is to tell you that if you're unhappy, you do have control even when you feel you don't, and I don't care how crazy in love you are, you don't have to put up with anything that makes you feel bad about yourself.   You don't need him that much, even if you feel you do.

 

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 6:04pm
Pleases... You are absolutely correct! And I try so hard not to text him but I get impatient. I want his attention but I don't want to fight for it. He said he was busy at work and he did end up talking. I don't think he liked the ignoring me comment, but if I can't be honest....

 

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Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 6:16pm
Create.... No we didn't talk about it. We know what this is and supposed to be. It's been discussed over and over. It's supposed to be sex only. Buy he knows how I feel, and he should respect that and me more. No I don't have to stay and I have a guy giving me bunches of attention too, but I want ap's. Is that too much to ask?
And ap was sick over the weekend. He has medical issues. N he said he was busy today. I respect that. But last week was barely anything. I miss him and I can't tell him that. It will only push him away. After all this time I know him. I want him physically so much, but I am the type of person who wears their heart on their sleeve and so giving. I just wish he would give more back. But, it is what it is. I hate that I would rather live with what I get rather thZn without him. I hate myself for that! You are right; I don't have to put up with it.
I hope you are good today.

 

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Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 7:00pm
I think entirely too much, therefore overanalyzing. lol I have to have clarity with everything. Tie emotional in with that....yea, I am an overly emotional analyzing wreck. Lol.
Seriously, you are right yet again. Lol. I should be satisfied and happy with the r not frustrated and down. Since I get upset, I say something to him. When I don't get what I want, which this I never express, I get mad and upset and say nothing. But does that hurt more than help the r? I mean, does he see his behavior acceptable because I allow him?
I try to keep my emotions and feelings in check. It is to be a physical a.
Thank God for this board and you!! :smileyhappy:
Take that trip and enjoy yourself!!!

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 7:19pm

I think what happens, when we keep getting upset, they become immune to it and aren't responsive, or it becomes predictable so they wait for us to initiate so they can see what mood we're in.  XAP would always listen anytime I wanted to talk, but if I came at him out of anger or sent a snippy txt, he would shut down.

I'm an emotional over-analyzing wreck, too, so don't feel bad!  I've been staying busy, getting out with friends, started a new hobby... and then he hasn't called for 3 days so he doesn't even notice I'm not available!!  And despite everything I told you in my last post, I'm still wondering why he didn't call.  lol

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 7:44pm
Pleases ~ And how many times do ap and I joke about our lack of impatience. He understands to an extent.
Passion is what he and I shared from the get go. When we are together it is the intensity that I love and want. I get it and then some. The comfortability for me to be me. But it is more action than words. When we r apart I crave the passion. Then I get impatient waiting and I text him. N I know I shouldn't because it is entirely the wrong time and yes, something bad does happen, and they is my feelings getting hurt.
You are doing the right thing by being her constant. She will appreciate you more for it. She is very lucky to have you.

 

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Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 7:54pm
Create ~ I hope that is the case, because I want to believe he does care. After 6 years and an arse whooping I have to be worth something to him?! When I'm emotional ap usually makes jokes or doesn't respond.
I will have to read the other post. I am sure you want to scream! Glad you are keeping busy though. That is my plan of attack when ap "disappears". Lol

 

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