Why Do We...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Why Do We...
4
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 10:28am
Hi-

Haven't been in here for a long while; for those of you old-timers, HI!

My question is this:

Why do we do this? Is it lack of intimacy in our own lives that forces us to seek it elsewhere, as the 'experts' suggest? Is it wishing to live life, as life should be lived? Is marriage just a situation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
In reply to: rksuzette
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 11:06am
Yes, to your first question. No marriage is not a situation, its a choice that you made long time ago... We all make lousy choices or choices that don't suit us...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
In reply to: rksuzette
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 11:45am
what choices??? I was not even given that... LOL

That's why if I have a choice in a situation, I never take it lightly... Choices are hard to come by as far as I am concerned...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rksuzette
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 6:48pm
Hello old-timer!

Well, I (& MM) knew I was D'ing when the A began...I suppose the "experts" would chalk it up as my lack of self-esteem, along with emotionally-challenged. And yes, my self-esteem was lacking...but not any moreso than in my years (& years!) of marriage in which I remained faithful - and the same goes for emotionally-challenged, lol.

Looking back now, I won't say it "just happened". It began emotionally, and I knew I wanted it to be physical some time before it was. We were attracted to each other months, maybe years, before it began, and if events hadn't happened in our lives as they did we wouldn't have acknowledged the attraction to ourselves, let alone each other.

It's been about two years since A-Day...and we thought it would last 8 months at most. He's still M'ed, and that won't change - so, why still the A? As I'm fond of saying, it's because of the man, and not the situation; I can choose to change the situation, but I can't choose not to love him. I don't live in a fantasy world, where I wait for him to leave...and he doesn't make promises he can't fulfill. Still, at times, I look in his eyes and the world slips away.

I'm still emotionally-challenged at times, lol - and he's been the best of friends. When I look into or listen to his soul, I find mine. He trusts & respects me - who I am and where I think I want to go. Right now, as for the past two years, I can't imagine this part of my life being different.

Yes, I'm stealing what time I have with him now - as who knows what tomorrow brings, eh?

Meow

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
In reply to: rksuzette
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 8:14pm
Indeed, who knows what tomorrow will bring- so why not live today!

thanx!!!