I think people stay for many different reasons. Some stay for the children - which isn't a good reason to stay, but many people stay because they don't want to cause any upheavel in their children's lives. Some stay because of the security. They have a life with this person and while it may not be ideal, it is their life and for whatever reason they don't want to give it up. Some stay out of fear. There are many reasons why people stay and have affairs -- and while an outsider can not and will not ever understand any of the reasons they make perfect sense to the person who is living the situation.
I totally agree with your post...I think a lot of people stay because it's their "comfort zone" and the fear of not knowing whether this new person will always be in their life. MM/XAP is SOOO like that. I know he isn't happy and isn't IN love with his wife, but that security of knowing that she will always be there no matter what and that she will never leave him alone is part of something he can't let go. In fact, those are the same doubts I had about him, I mean, what if he started feeling bored and tired of me someday? Would he? Would he cheat on me? The only difference is, I was willing to take that chance and he wasn't. Yeah, I know...STUPID ME. :)
I think a lot of people stay because of the fear of the unknown. They love the other person,
I also honestly feel it is fear of the unknown and also having small children.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response.
I hear ya!
I am happy to hear that you guys can be friends.