Why does this happen all the time...???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Why does this happen all the time...???
23
Tue, 10-13-2009 - 12:22am

For privacy Issues.




Edited 10/18/2009 11:15 pm ET by lostintransition

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2009
Tue, 10-13-2009 - 4:40am

its the guys you are choosing. They are losers. Everyone knows for the most part, firemen and policemen do not make good boyfriends or husbands...and before anyone flames me, I said for the most part AND do some research..divorce rates are HIGH among these guys.


Maybe he did not

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Tue, 10-13-2009 - 11:17am

30 min away is a lame excuse. That's about a normal drive for most dating people.


There was a red flag you may have not noticed... moving too quick... too many texts... too many "I miss you"s and "I like you"s. I've seen it happen a couple times where the couple is almost perfect for each other that it does move quick and works out well into a long compatable marriage, but these are exceptions to the rule.


I agree with the poster above that maybe the sex was not that great for him. It does not mean you are not good in bed. You could be the most beautiful woman (or man)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
Tue, 10-13-2009 - 1:23pm

I think it is a male pattern of being "in the hunt" and once the chase is over then the reality of actually being in a relationship distances them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Tue, 10-13-2009 - 4:00pm

For privacy Issues.




Edited 10/18/2009 11:16 pm ET by lostintransition

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
Tue, 10-13-2009 - 4:18pm

I was in a relationship for a year with a women that on a second date was a whole weekend in bed with her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Wed, 10-14-2009 - 9:26am

Im so sorry Lost. I thought this guy sounded fantastic. It seems he had an internal agenda but thats not your fault! You have to learn to trust sometime and anybody but AP is healthy for you right now.
I cringe at the thought of dating too. The rigmarole of the rituals of getting to know guys, finding them to be duds or passing the first stage only to find they have an allergy to your 12 year old cat/Sigmund Freud complex with his mother/an unnatural hankering for whips. I commend you on having a go and getting out there girl!
One day there WILL be a man that seems TGTBT...and you know what? he WILL be real. Just gotta find him!

You know the fireman is the loser. What guy throws away great sex and backrubs???An unstable one, thats who....

Big Hugs.

SB

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Wed, 10-14-2009 - 4:07pm

Hi Lost,


So sorry about this. But it is his loss most definitely. You haven't done anything wrong. He's just being stupid right now. I agree with sometimesblue, you are very brave for having tried to get out there and meet other guys. I dont really like the thought of dating especially if AP and I dont work out. The thought stresses me out. It's like nevermind.


I do believe you will find a wonderful guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2009
Wed, 10-14-2009 - 7:16pm

Okay Lostie-lost girl :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Wed, 10-14-2009 - 11:20pm

For privacy Issues.




Edited 10/18/2009 11:17 pm ET by lostintransition

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Wed, 10-14-2009 - 11:55pm

Yes, the comfy zone is very nice... can get boring, but has it's perks. Dating has it's excitement too (nervous excitement). I also prefer the comfy part of a relationship.


I think everyone has insecurities and you are not alone in that. He probably has his share too. I'm not sure how one gets out of the pattern of insecurities... I stll have many myself body wise, job wise etc.


Maybe he is seeing other women and wants to keeps his options open. If he is exclusive with you then he will not be able to see other women.

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