Why does this happen all the time...???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Why does this happen all the time...???
23
Tue, 10-13-2009 - 12:22am

For privacy Issues.




Edited 10/18/2009 11:15 pm ET by lostintransition

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 12:36am

For privacy Issues.




Edited 10/18/2009 11:13 pm ET by lostintransition

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 1:23am

I thought Oxbell made a profound summation of you. I had a guess to myself thats what it was but didnt want to make too many assumptions. I have gotten a little insight from your posts and know you are a great girl- fun, loving life and outgoing, except when it comes to the serious business of getting attatched to men.

When i was M, i lost myself in my H & M. I forgot i was someone too and did everything everyone else wanted. When i D, i had no hobbies, no interests that didnt involve the kids and was very stuck. I will never neglect myself and what i want in a R again. View your R's as an extension of yourself and not as your total world. Dont get obsessed as to what your man is thinking or feeling. If you start to feel strange, try to work out the why before jumping to conclusions. I am guilty of projecting my insecurities onto others as well and it does look like neediness. In reality i am strong, loud and confident so to see myself behave like a martyr makes me cringe.

I dont know what to suggest for you as it is hard to change my own habits too, but i am trying to fake it till i make it and its working to a point. I still miss AP immensely, but the reality is (I tell myself daily) hes doing his thing so i have to keep busy, do MY thing and when we connect i am happy.

Firefighter may be a decent guy. Just dont give him your exclusive attention. You dont have to date anyone else, but go about your life and when he contacts you, make the decision to go out (or stay in) based on what YOU want to do. I dont think sleeping with him in 2 weeks was too soon-especially when you spent so much time together. When you click with someone, you want that next step. Its good that he knows up front that you enjoy yourself in the bedroom.

Keep your chin up and keep moving forward. You are brave, confident and sassy. Dont change that for anyone :)

SB.

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2009
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 10:08am

Well that goes to show you right there that he isn't a bad guy or a jerk at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 6:48pm

You're welcome.


I also don't like being friends with men/women after the relationship is over. Too much complication and like you said rejection is not fun. Plus hard to meet new guys when the old ones are still in the picture. I know it does not feel like it, but there are many men out there that would like you. You are young, seems like you have a good head on your shoulder and have no kids (no offence to single moms:) ).

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 11:30pm

For privacy Issues.




Edited 10/18/2009 11:13 pm ET by lostintransition

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2009
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 5:36am
because you do not filter who you go out with. You latch on to anyone who gives you attention
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 9:23am
Thats a harsh summation NYC. Lost is not "latching" she developed a friendship with an attractive guy that appeared to be into her in the beginning. Do you know her full story or are you just jumping in based on this post?
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2009
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 5:35pm
I know the whole story...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 7:19pm

For privacy Issues.




Edited 10/18/2009 11:14 pm ET by lostintransition

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 8:20pm

eek, you still have AP in your life?


Do you think this new guy senses that you are not fully available? Maybe he is keeping his options open (other women)