Why does he act like this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Why does he act like this?
5
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 6:55am
OM/MM called this morning on his way to work as usual. I was on the phone with a guy friend of mine and H's when he called. At first I didn't tell him that I was on the other line. He asked if I was on my PC, I said no I was on the phone with a friend. He's like "a guy friend" so I said yes. Then he started in on me saying, "first you talk to guys on the comp, now its on your home phone. What next? Is he comming over?" I said no, he lives in a different state. He said, "well if he wants to come for a visit your surely not going to say no." I was very offended to say the least. I don't know where that came from. I asked what his problem was and he said, "you know I'm jealous over you." I just don't know why he acted that way, he knows I am not looking for anyone else. I mean is it just him being insecure or is talking to a guy friend on the phone that terrible? He also told me that I have no business talking to other guys while we are together(not even if they are my friends). Are your OM/MM jealous like this? Sorry if I am rambling just a little hurt and mad right now. Thanks for always listening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:23am
MM did something similar to me back this winter - made a few off he wall comments about me running into a friend of his. He's also made a comment to me very recently that if we were to ever getogether that he's sure I'd be looking for a "boyfriend" after a few years and he could never trust me. Now - I personally PUT A END to these comments and I suggest you nip it now. JMHO - or it's going to eat away at you. There's really no need for these comments at all!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:32am
Thanks for your reply. I just don't get him sometimes. He tells me to find something to do to pass time inbetween our talking and get togethers. Then when I find a new girlfriend to hang out with or something new to do he gets all jealous and aggrevated with me. I was really hurt by some of his comments today. I sometimes wish I could take my heart back and walk away. Great, I got myself crying now. Sometimes it seems like he wants me just to sit by the phone and wait for him. We have been together for a little over a year and it just seems as time goes by the more attached I get. Well I won't get into all the details right now. Thanks again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:47am
Hi,

I can think of a few possiblities as to why:

1) He is insecure person

2) He has been cheated before by somebody he loved

3) He's got these girl friends that he sees two (or even three) timing on their SO's that he thinks they are the norm as far the women population goes, which is not true.

4) He has somebody telling bad things about you all the time, that he is starting to believe them.

If you case is any one of the above you have some hope, but if its all of the above, it can be long battles and dissapointments. Good Luck! Not a great place to be.

Edited 5/20/2004 9:15 am ET ET by fantasyhere


Edited 5/20/2004 9:15 am ET ET by fantasyhere

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 8:36am
I think he is insecure. The reason I say that is because he is 46 and I am only 21. He is always saying he thinks some young guy is going to come sweep me off of my feet. Plus the fact that when we go out I get alot of attention, I am not trying to sound like I am all that, but I am a very friendly person and I know alot of people. So I am always getting stopped and talked to by men and women friends. And he has told me it makes him jealous. Hope this makes sense lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 9:04am
So what have you done to allieviate his insecurity?? Does he have situations/people that he surround himself with that don't treat him well?? All I can say is don't make him anymore insecure than he already is.

I always tell my guy that he is sexy, smart and so perfect for me. I always reassure him on those things over and over again. Heck, somedays, he needs to get a retraining order to keep me away from him. LOL He knows how I feel, for I can really maul him on somedays... LOL