Why does it hurt so much

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Why does it hurt so much
1
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 6:54am
to be in an A? I have been involved with this man for more than three years and he still thinks that I can be happy (and should be) with the crumbs he throws at me. He is one who is always calling the shots about where and when to meet, he is a no-show sometimes. He will take me for granted and he knows I will come back to him all the time. I make it easy for him to be in the R. He is the one who trashes me and put me down all time. He is at the receiving end all the time, when will he GIVE? Yet I am supposed to understand all this continue as nothing happened. When things go really bad sometimes he will say sorry (the crumbs) and then convieniently forget the issues in the A. NO CONTACT. How is one supposed to continue an affair with NC? I don't care for the crumbs he throws at me anymore. I am tired and sick of the whole game. I don't want him anymore. Enough is enough. I am outta here....


Edited 10/23/2003 6:57:52 AM ET by opal_fire
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 8:14am
:::Opal ::: Im so sorry to hear that your OM is disrespecting you. I am very much in the same boat as you are - I "expect to be disrespected" by my OM. I've been stood up, had him no show on me etc also. Im 2 years into this thing. OM and I both agree this is just our icing and that we never intend to share the cake and be together some day. After 5 days of NC from OM he finally called me last night. Our last conversation was Friday night when he asked me to turn my cell off so he could call me later and let me know what time and where to meet him for our Saturday hotel day...I didnt hear from him until Wednesday night...typical!

When he called me I set new rules as a last resort to making this EMA work for us. He is how the hunter and Im the hunted. I will not be calling him or trying to track him down to get together and he is now aware of that. He also knows I'm not in this for just the sexual end of this, so he knows better than to just call when he wants some icing...

I strongly suggest that you carefully evaluate your situation and decide what exactly you need in order to stay involved in this EMA. Is it calls, time together etc. In my case what I expect is him to make plans and KEEP THEM or CALL AND CANCEL THEM...that's all...you need to decide what YOU need though.

Like all other things, when it reaches a point where there's more bad than good - it's time to make some changes or walk away holding your head high...

*hugs*

Liberal

a/k/a cl-imshagnhurman

callmeliberal@hotmail.com