Why does my body crave AP & not H?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Why does my body crave AP & not H?
9
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 11:24am

Hello ladies,


Last night H wanted to get intimate and just FYI, I do love him and want to continue being with him. Anyway, for the life of me my mind & body just couldn't get into it. I was dry as sand paper (sorry for the details) and I was trying to think of AP but I just couldn't get into it. I felt like I was cheating on AP with H.


What kind of dysfunctional thinking do I have going on? H is great but I feel I lack the affection & attention from him that AP gives me. My body craves for AP and just from a single kiss or look I'm already melting.


Please tell me someone feels this way and if so why does my body not want or desire H anymore?


 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 11:47am

Hi Rayne,


You are not the only one who feels

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 11:48am
I am right there with you, Rayne!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 11:49am

I think, Rayne, that some of us really are meant to be "one man women" and your body has decided that "one man" is your AP. It's another way an A can certainly affect our spouses, even when they don't know about an A. It has to be hard to feel your spouse slipping away in so many ways - this just being one of them. I don't know what to tell you to do about it either.

In my case, it seemed like an A actually improved my sex life with my H. It made me feel sexier, more sexual, (which is slightly different than just "sexy") and H got the benefit too.

Wish I could help you more!

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 7:57pm

your body doesn't desire your H because your heart desires your AP & not your H . didn't you know it already ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 8:08pm

I was right there with 'ya!

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 8:15pm

..........It's another way an A can certainly affect our spouses, even when they don't know about an A. It has to be hard to feel your spouse slipping away in so many ways - this just being one of them........

great post Lexi but I really dont think it has to be hard to feel my spouse slipping away if I am the one making her slip away . Dont you think so ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 8:27am
I meant that the BS feels their spouse slipping away, not the WS. I've always felt that if a spouse doesn't discover an A, then there is no "hurt". Those on the other side insist that there IS hurt, whether the A is discovered or not. I think they're right if there is a negative change in behavior toward the spouse. Not feeling attraction towards your spouse, when there used to be attraction, has to be something that anyone would feel, and it would be hard to understand, and it would certainly hurt, whether the A was discovered or not.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 11:00am

Hi Lexione,


My behavior & this A is definitely affecting my marriage. I use to have attraction for H but its been misplaced and now my focus has become solely on AP. Yesterday H told me that I made him feel like sh@t and that if he didn't know better he'd suspect that I was cheating because of the way I acted in bed with him that night. I looked in his eyes and felt so sad and apologized. I wished that I felt that physical attraction for H again. We use to have the best sex, he was and still is the best lover I ever had and he showed me so much but I think its something emotionally that I'm lacking and need very much.


I need to get it together before it all blows up in my face. I don't want him looking for things that will confirm his suspicions.


By the way as for Bestplayer. I blocked her and I don't want her commenting on any of my posts because she has nothing that is worth my time to read. I'm not interested in anything that she has to say and I say that will all the grace in the world =).


Happy Hump Day ladies, wishing you all the best today & always!


 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 12:00pm

Using the "ignore" button is wonderful when you don't want to see someone's posts, but it will not block the posts that reply to the blocked person. You can "ignore" someone but you can't stop them from posting on your thread. I was only clarifying something bestplayer remarked to me (and I think he's a guy, although that doesn't really matter, I'm sure you're blocking because you don't like his posts, not because he's a guy). :)

Rayne, if you used to have physical attraction for your H, I'm sure its there somewhere. You're right, if he felt what you're feeling, he's going to know something's up. I don't have any answers as to what to do about that!

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've