why is he doing this?
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| Tue, 07-13-2010 - 10:09am |
AP and I have been through cycles in our A. I am S he is M. So that causes him guilt I think bc he feels like I am putting my life on hold for him while he knows he is not leaving his M. So he is usually the one to kick us out of the hot phase by pulling back. This drives me to insanity and then he says see... I'm driving you nuts. So then he goes into how I should forget about him and move on with my life, and then I say are you serious you really want to stop things. Then he goes silent on me. And I never know what the heck he really wants or if this is all about his guilt. Sigh. Then I feel bad bc I understand his guilt and I don't want to hurt him either.
So currently I texted him yesterday and said that I missed him bad but if he really felt it was time to let go I wouldn't fight him. I asked him to make the call on this. He didn't respond all day. And then this morning I get a text that says I need to live... and he isn't going anywhere. So after trying to decipher this code, I guess it means that I need to move on bc he isn't leaving his M.
I really love this guy. I don't know how to do this. Especially bc I don't truly feel he means it. I don't know if I should text back... or even what to text back since I told him I would live with his decision. So now what... I just forget the one man I would have kept?? How... do I do this?
I am usually really smart about this stuff when I am using my brain but right now my heart is in control and my heart is a moron. :(

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your situation sounds a lot like mine..the first year...it's been 2.5 years now on and off....i can empathize with you because i've been there...i just want to give you a big hug...sincerely i do....and i wanna cry for you because i know the more you stay in it..and he's good to you..the more you will want happiness with him...and i also know that you cannot wait for him...you do have to live...and be happy and look for that someone out there for you....
what i will say is if you think you can handle it then go for it..but if you don't think you can, in the long run.....don't do it...
i'm pretty young too only 36 years old...i can say the good times are good and the bad are bad....
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
Thank you for your words,
"I love someone I can't have. End of story. It sucks."
I think that about sums it up.
Agreed! With all you said. Thank you for taking the time to give your insights because I needed to hear them. It helps to know I am not the only one who has been through this type of thing.
It is definately time for me to put on my big girl pants and face the realities. I am heartbroken and feeling a little rebellious against what is "good for me" right now. But this is what is happening and I just don't have the energy to fight it.
Yes, I have talked to him a little. I didn't reply to his text until today and because I had been so intense for about a week before all that went down, I took a lighthearted approach. I told him that I understood where he was coming from. He just feels guilty and he hates that I am not living my life to the fullest. He can't offer me himself completely
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
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