My H is not the friendliest guy around....nor is he the neatest or most polite. He's been "asked to leave" a couple of jobs due to attitude and he can be extremely hateful to me and to other people. He complains if he finds anything out of place at our home (my friends who come over can't imagine anything ever being out of place) or if dinner isn't exactly perfect. My son begs me not to tell his Dad when he gets in trouble at school because he is scared of his temper. Now, he's never hurt the kids....don't think that because I wouldn't stand for that, but he does like to yell, which (yes...) it is hurtful in itself. He has threatened to kick me out of the house several times...once when I was pregnant with my daughter and most recently a couple of weeks ago when he was on one of his tirades about the house. Now, I work full-time and am the primary caregiver of both children (because he's never really around the house until well after the kids have gone to bed on most nights) and I pay the bills...etc...so it's not like I've got all the free time in the world. He's got a vulgar mouth and can be racist. His personal hygiene falls far from what I want from him. He doesn't brush his teeth regularly (unless he thinks he might be "getting some" which is EXTREMELY rare) and he thinks he only needs to shower "when he's really dirty." He's a mechanic...so guess how often he's "dirty!" Anyway...without giving more information away, you guys are probably wondering why I've not left him before. Well, the last time we had a big blow out and he told me to get the kids and get out of the house, he told me he didn't mean to say those things and I told him I would stay if he would agree to marriage counseling. Well, he said he would and now he won't have any part of it. I told him if those words come out of his mouth again, regarless of how big the apology, that was going to be it.
Let's backtrack to last fall....I've been engaged in an A with a wonderful MM whom I wish I'd met years and years ago. I'm completely and hopelessly in love with him, but I'm not going to leave my H for him. I'd leave my H for myself and my kids. I want my MM in my life forever, of course, but I'm taking it one month at a time.
Now, I'm not having s*x with my H because, well, quite frankly, the idea of it just turns my stomach. But, of course, he keeps pawing at me and trying to get me all hot (which just does not work) and when I tell him why (emotional distance) and other reasons (hygiene) he's offended! Gee whiz! What do I do, girls? Any advice?
By the way, the s*x with my MM is out of this world and I don't think I will ever tire of that! My MM knows everything that's going on at home and he's been a wonderful friend throughout this.
I appreciate for the ability to vent...I've been posting on the board all week, but this is the first time I've started telling my story.
M.
I love all of you and your advice is greatly appreciated! I'll take whatever y'all will give me honestly and with concern! Thanks so much for being there and being such good friends!
hey noregretsyet -- when you hit your bottom with the M, you'll be done!
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
girl, i thank god you did get out.
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
BTW, I really miss my MM right about now!
good, think about your life and what you want it to be.
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board