Wife is calling me
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Wife is calling me
| Fri, 10-16-2009 - 12:58am |
GREAT! The wife is calling me, AGAIN!
The first happened in January - he straightened it out (and also got her pregnant!).
| Fri, 10-16-2009 - 12:58am |
GREAT! The wife is calling me, AGAIN!
The first happened in January - he straightened it out (and also got her pregnant!).
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WOW, what a huge lack of support here. Unbelievable. So, Lost, are you feeling hammered over the head yet? Jeez, this support board can be hard on people. Maybe I've missed the sugar coated version of the same?
I do have to agree that you need to move on, but I know that you are trying to do that. Seeing another man as a distraction is at least an honestly approach. I think you would be ok alone if the wife could leave you alone. But I think that for as frustrated as you are, she's equally scared that you 2 are still hooking up. Maybe he has a new A and she is assuming it's you? Just a thought. Think about just taking her next call. Or call her back at her sisters and ask for her specifically, then leave a message for w to call you from sisters again when she gets a chance and that you will answer that call and really talk to her and answer her questions honestly. She's hurting, and that might be just the trick to making her go away completely. Reassure her that you want this a to be over and that you wish them both well.
Consider, too, getting into therapy. Others have suggested it. I started with a counselor in March. I couldn't stand the idea that I was going to counseling, so I just said I had a meeting (yep, every Friday at 3, and my h always thought I was with my ap.... until they were together and looking for me one Friday while I was "in a meeting") Anyway, I was going weekly, and I did a ton of really hard work. My work isn't over yet, but I'm definately healing, and I only see counselor about once a month, more if I need it, less if I don't. I still work really hard and I'm just really honest with myself. I journal (it's a great place to start, and it's cheap therapy) and ask and answer really tough questions. I write down my life parallels, my sudden insights, my issues, and I work through them on paper. It really does help.
and I think you need to get really busy. Hot Fireman turned out to be
SB,
I agree with you. Alot of the responses to lost were ridiculous. She's trying to move on and is getting no credit.
Oh, I get it. I guess none of these folks have ever been in an A. There's nothing wrong with giving advice but geez people have some tact about it.
Well said Caribu. I was getting annoyed with unproductive closet therapists diagnosing people from a post or two. Opinions and advice are appreciated, pulling punches on supposed personality traits are not. Lost, I hope you use the block button.
Lost, I understand that you arent so upset about FF because you do still have AP on the side, but maybe having him there is obstructing you to give your all in a new R. Eventually you will have to let him go as a new man will not stand to share you. If AP is having M problems and will get D and you want to wait, then perhaps you should not go for men that want an R specifically and just go and have fun with the moment. In that case let FF go his merry way and fit him in when it suits you. Schedule or no schedule, he would make the time if he was in the right headspace.
BTW, how is things with both FF & AP now?
SB
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Thank you for those that offered support (caribu & sometimesblue), and to those who have offered constructive critizism (I'll take that too).
blue_Belle:
Your post must have been intended for jen23jen, because I did not say his wife had no right calling me.
I'm glad you have a busy and full life. I didn't know all that. So that is a terrific distraction. and I know what you mean about wanting to share you life, we all do.
Please, I don't know what to do. =(
His wife texted me today from her cell phone asking me what my relationship with her husband is?
Hi lost,
Well, if it was me I would tell my AP/BF's wife anything and everything she cared to ask about...and then some! But, I'm not afraid of AP, and it sounds like you are afraid of yours. So, in that case I would not talk to his W at all. I wish you wouldn't talk to this guy either, anymore...it can't be healthy for you.
I wish I had some real advice but I'm at a loss. Just please take care of yourself.
benska
"How do I get out of this?
I just wanted to say I agree with mykate on this.
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