Wife Pregnant?

Avatar for kmbr982
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Wife Pregnant?
4
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 1:11pm
A few months ago, my MM and I ended things. We were both feeling guilty and confused and there is a small child involved and ending things seemed right. In the time we were apart, we had no physical contact but did talk and hang out several times. He admitted he had sex with his wife a couple times but it made him realize his marriage was over. I was under the impression he had dediced to end his marriage because we had discussed the impact of divorce and even talked about moving on and having a child. A week ago, his wife informs him she's pregnant. Not that I am a pessimistic person but I had a feeling this was going to happen. Some of the events involved over the past few months made me feel like she had been trying to get pregnant. That doesn't matter, it's done. She's pregnant and he is still talking about leaving but how can I be so selfish as to expect him to leave now? He was already feeling guilty for "leaving" his son and now there's another child involved.

He has always been emotionally supportive of me and I understand we are all human and make mistakes. Do I walk away and tell him the past two years meant nothing? Do I push him to be with me NOW? What do I do? We are both good people and this pregnancy is extremely bad timing. He said he wished it were me pregnant instead, but he had sex (was intimate) with his wife while he has feelings for me and that hurts. Do ALL men think with their cocks?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
In reply to: kmbr982
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 3:30pm
Wish I could help, but of course, you're the only one with those answers.

Do most SGals/SGuys here expect that their MM/MW doesn't have sex with their DW/DH? I'd hate to think my SG expected I don't have sex with my DH! In fact, I may be having more since I started having feelings for SG...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
In reply to: kmbr982
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 4:47pm
Sorry but he has playing you for a fool ,he never stopped doing his wife and will not.

If you want to be happy go find yourself a SM

I am A MM who likes to play trust me we can,t be trusted ever, find yourself a SM that is of a different stripe

Sorry for you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
In reply to: kmbr982
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 6:41am
WOW!!!!I feel like I just read my own story. I was in that exact, exact situation a couple of years back. I chose to stick it out, because I thought he was worth it. I thought I couldn't live without him. We tried on several occasions to break it off, but it never lasted for very long. After the baby came, they already had a little boy, I stuck it out and then decided I could take no more. I thought, he'll never leave and I went and tried to work things out with my X. MM begged and cried and followed me around at work. He left his W a couple of days later, I told him not to leave her for me, that it was over, but he did it anyway. So then I felt like I owed it to him to give it a try. Big mistake, wrong reason. About a week later I broke up with my B and tried to be with MM. They went into the whole D process. I knew he did it, because he told her about me and she was always calling me, if not her, her friends, calling me names. Which I figured I deserved. Mean while, he does nothing but show up drunk and get worse and worse about it. I couldn't stand it, he was starting fights with people and I decided that we just wouldn't work together. I didn't want to be with someone that I was going to have to take care of all of the time, being drunk. The very same day, I believe, he was back with his W. Makes me wonder. Hmmmmm.... Anyhow, I'm just saying really think things through. If you really love him, you can make it through anything. I thought that I did, but I was wrong. I hadn't had the chance to fully see what he really was. But that doesn't mean that your's couldn't work out. I'm really sorry for what you are about to go through. Be strong and really really think about it. It's a tuff spot to be in. Them already having a kid is one thing to deal with, them going through the whole pregnancy and birth is a whole other story. Again, I'm really sorry.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
In reply to: kmbr982
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 9:16am
I'm sorry that things aren't working as well for you as you would like. I've gone through the same thing recently with MM. In September, MM and his W had a baby. They also have a son together. In February I found out his w was pregnant. It was hard. In an A, you have to do things that you may not like. It's wrong to assume that MM never does anything with W. I know that he has to do things, like he knows that I have to do things. We've been involved for almost five years, and we've weathered this one so far. I'm sorry you feel this way, but if it helps, you guys were'nt together when she got pregnant. If he wants to leave, that's fine. Just remember that he will have to be there for her. He has to leave because he wants to, not because of you.