Will affair screw me in the end?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Will affair screw me in the end?
3
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 3:40pm
One thing I am concerned about getting caught having an affair I wonder if my H divorces me will my affair keep me from getting the kids, alimony, ect.? I'm not looking to divorce at this point but I worry if I get caught how will it affect my life. I also worry about my OM because I know she will milk him dry if she catches him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 4:01pm
Ill,

I don't really know. I think it may depend on what state you live in. When I found out about all the H's affairs I went to a lawyer to see what my options were...we've been married 22 years.....he said we are a "no fault" state. That means the court doesn't care who did what to whom, and if you start trying to finger point it definately goes against you. Basically since we had been married so long he thought we would have a 60/40 split of assets. H would pay child support since he made more money. I wanted to air H's dirty laundry because one of his affairs was with an extremely younger girl, she was 16 at the time it began and he was 25.......I found out 13 years after the fact. Anyway, it costs nothing to talk to a lawyer and see what the options would be.

Kitty

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 4:34pm
California is also a 'no fault' State. My attorney told me that ex-H could be a child molester and still get visitation, etc. In a no-fault State the only grounds for divorce are irreconcilable differences. No dirty laundry aired. However, if it turns into a custody battle, that could be a different story. Kitty's right -- need to talk to an attorney.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 10:55pm
In a custody dispute.. could it cost you the kids if the A is found out? That dosen't seem fair, especially if kids have no clue as to whats going on. This is something that worries me, as my hubby works out of state and I am their primary caregiver 90% of the time.

SB

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