Will I ever Let IT GO?!?!
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Will I ever Let IT GO?!?!
| Sun, 09-13-2009 - 11:51am |
Newbie here..Never guessed I would actually write my craziness for the world to see but desperate to feel I am not alone & that there are actually women out there that might understand. Having anxious feelings about EAP who is single basically giving me the cold shoulder b/c I'm not making progess on ending my M. A has been going on 2yrs with nothing physical.

You are not crazy. I understand your dilemna. I have been married for almost six years. During our M my H wasnt showing me any affection and thought I was smothering him when I tried to show it. We had not had IC for 2 years. That's crazy. So all during this time I would form these huge crushes on guys that did pay me attention. But I never did anything about them.
The first time I met AP at work, I was instantly attracted. We flirted and talked, even after I found out he was M and he found out I was M. Now its a full blown A. We were kinda going through the same thing with our spouses though he has never bad mouthed her in the 1.5 years we have know each other.
My H like yours is also a very good man and I still love him also but we lost our intimacy so early on and I just didnt feel that way towards him. It's kinda hard to when they dont really want to be bothered. So I was torn between loving two men even tho AP hasnt said he would leave W.
Anwyay, Me and H have been seperated now for almost two months. It was a mutual thing. We said we needed a break from each other and I was tired of feeling unappreciated and like I came second to everything. So now, I want AP more then ever but still feel guilty about not wanting my H anymore even tho we are really good friends.
I am confused as you are. I want AP to leave his W most days but sometimes not so sure. I'm afraid to be with someone else and then it not work, but I think I'm willing to take the risk. My H and I are to see where we stand with each other in a year and I try to take it a day at a time but its hard. I love my H but feel guilty for not really wanting to work things out. I love AP and he makes me feel special and wanted