Wise decisions??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wise decisions??
12
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 10:27am

Most of us on the board didnt go looking for an A but found ourselves in one and realized later that what we had was an A !! We didnt 'choose' our AP ,so to speak.So now the question is, do you or AP has more to lose if things go bad?
Its always a wise decision to have an AP who has more to lose than you but since we didnt chose our AP to begin with,so how could we go looking into that aspect,if i am making sense?
Between a MW and MM ,both have equal stuff at stake but the seriousness of this angle comes into play when one is M and the other is S.
What do SW with MM and MW with SG have to say about this? Who has more at stake? Do yoiu have any plan for damage control? or do you just trust your AP enough?

I am a SW with MM and have nothing to lose.He has and we had a DDay as well but he still continues to be with me ( to which i have no problems)and we have no plans to end it.I would never in a million years tell on his W that we are continuing even though she believes we are done.I wouldnt tell anyone who doesnt need to know.I do realize that he has kids and the A could ruin them if it became the talk of the town.He trusts me on that.

Do you believe its a wise decision to have an A being the S one?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 2:16pm

Galcurve,

I really hope that your ex AP would leave you alone as he for sure is one who would/could destroy your married life ,no matter how bad it is but outside force always ruins it more and he is not worth it.I am glad you didnt fall for his craziness.
Is he gone forever or still fishes around? Dont give him any time of the day.Did you or him tell anyone about the A ? You gave this guy too much power over you !

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2007
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 6:07pm

Then there's my situation -- where we were both married -- BUT, my MM left his W (& moved into his own place) 2 1/2 months after meeting me & even though he was "technically" still married, for all "intents and purposes" was then an "available"

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